


Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

by mercyful



Category: Girls (TV), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Anal Sex, Ben Solo - Freeform, Blow Jobs, College, Cunnilingus, Dominant Kylo Ren, F/M, Fingering, Fucking, Humiliation, Kylo Ren - Freeform, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren Has Issues, No Condom, Office Sex, Oral Sex, Original Female Character - Freeform, Pervert, Pregnancy Kink, Professor Kylo Ren, Professor Ren, Raw Sex, Sex, Size Kink, Smut, Teacher-Student Relationship, Unplanned Pregnancy, Verbal Humiliation, Virgin Kylo Ren, big dick, college professor, doggystyle, inappropriate relationship, kylo ren smut, kylo ren/ofc - Freeform, kylo ren/original female character - Freeform, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-03-31 05:37:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 39,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13968501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercyful/pseuds/mercyful
Summary: You’re failing Professor Ren’s philosophy class miserably. You had seduced countless professors to get your grades up before, but Professor Ren appears to be a different breed. Professor Ren is attractive and sexy as hell, but he’s a prude with absolutely no game. Most likely a virgin. Whenever you said hello and smiled at him in the past, he was left stuttering and red in the face. But today you have to amp it up because finals are in one week. Is Professor Ren all that he seems, or is he … something else?





	1. The Seduction

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like this fic! I have a thing for the professor/student inappropriate relationship bit. Let me know in the comments if you'd like this to continue. If not, I will keep it a one shot :) Thanks for reading!
> 
> -Mercyful

**YOU**

 

“I’ll see you all for your exam next week. I’ll be holding office hours until 5 o’clock today if you have any questions about the material.”

 

You sat at your desk while everyone around you gathered their belongings and started shuffling toward the door. This was it … your final attempt to seduce Professor Ren. He looked extra sexy today, you thought to yourself. Black jeans and a pair of black on black high-top chucks, a form-fitting dark navy sweater and a black casual suit jacket, which was now draped over his muscular arm. You watched him as he slid a few papers into his bag, paying extra attention to his long fingers. You watched as he brought his hand up to his face and brushed the hair out of his eyes. 

 

Professor Ren had no idea how sexy he was. He was tall, and from what you could tell, he definitely had a nice body under all his clothing. Nothing turned you on more than a tall man, and Professor Ren definitely had at least a foot on you. Just the very thought of him easily picking you up and bending you to his will made you tingle  _ down there _ . You would bet anything that the size of his dick was proportionate to the size of the rest of his body.

 

You made sure to wear a slutty outfit today … a white tank top and a tiffany blue pencil skirt that hugged your curves. The lighter colors contrasted nicely with your naturally tan skin. Your outfit was borderline inappropriate for a college class, but the boys around you weren’t complaining. You got a few dirty looks from some girls in your class, but you didn’t care. It was all for professor Ren. You decided to go commando and leave your panties at home, and you paired your outfit with some nude heels.

 

Before you knew it, the entire class had cleared out. Professor Ren was still in his own little world, organizing his books and papers and pens. Oh, he just looked so adorable. If he had any idea what you had planned, he’d probably run for the hills. You cleared your throat to get his attention.

 

He looked up, surprised that he wasn’t alone. “Oh hi (y/n),” Professor Ren said in his sexy deep voice. His eyebrows were raised. He looked so goddamn innocent. He cleared his throat uncomfortably and shifted his feet. “What can I do for you?”  _ Lots _ , you thought to yourself, giggling inside.

 

Your crossed your legs and leaned over your desk to show off your ample cleavage. You saw Professor Ren gulp and his temple twitch a little. Did he just look at your cleavage? Yes, he most certainly did. Okay, so this may be a bit easier than you thought.

 

You gave your sexiest smile. “I actually have a few questions, but I can wait for your office hours, Professor Ren. Are you heading there now?”

 

“Yes...yeah,” he said and nodded, stuttering over his words a bit. He paused for a moment, looking you over. “I don’t think you ever made it to any of my office hours before,” he said, looking a little confused as to why you were asking about them now. “So uh..in case you forgot, room 347. Third floor. Or you can just follow me,” he rambled. Professor Ren was nervous!

 

“Okay, thank you.” You flashed a grin and stood up, bending over with your ass facing him to gather your tote from the floor beside your desk. You could feel his eyes burning a hole through your ass. You stood back up and turned around quickly, and his eyes quickly lifted to your face. Yep, definitely staring at your ass. You strutted to his desk, standing in front of it as he nervously gathered the rest of his things. He was always meticulous, but you noticed this time he was cramming the remaining papers into his bag haphazardly, and his hands were shaking just slightly.

 

You decided to throw him off a bit more and put on your biggest concerned face you could muster. “Is everything alright professor?”

 

He kept his eyes down as he slung his crossbody bag over his shoulder. “Yeah,” he said, pressing his lips together in a line. “Why?” he sounded defensive. You had to look up at him, even in heels. God you loved his height. 

 

“You just seem a little rushed,” you said with concern. “I thought maybe something was on your mind.”

 

“Nope,” he said, voice a little higher pitched to emphasize that he was, indeed, fine. “After you,” he gestured a little too emphatically.

  
You smiled and led the way to his office, making sure you put a little extra sway into your hips the whole way there.

 

**PROFESSOR REN**

 

You were laughing inwardly to yourself the entire walk to your office. This little slut thinks she has you in the palm of her hand, but you’re well aware of the type of girl she is and what she’s trying to do. Countless girls in your class have played this game with you, specifically when finals were approaching. You had wanted to fuck this girl so badly all semester, and finally she decided to step forward and play her little game of “seduce the professor.” It took her long enough. You figured she would have tried something a few weeks earlier, during midterms.

 

You kept your eyes on her juicy ass until her hips stopped swaying. Ah, you were already in front of your office door. She stepped aside to let you unlock the door, and the fine gentleman that you are let her walk in the office first.

 

“Please, have a seat,” you gestured to the worn leather chair in front of your desk. Your office was fairly cramped, smelled musty, and could have used a good dusting. You gave her a side glance before you took your seat at the desk, noticing her eyes searching around your office. Probably trying to find photos of yourself and your family. She won’t have any luck in that department. You haven’t talked to them in years. You put on your innocent professor act, giving her those puppy dog eyes you know all the girls find so endearing. “So (y/n), what can I do you for?”

 

**YOU**

 

_ Was that a double entendre _ ? Nah, it couldn’t be. This guy probably wouldn’t be able to spot a vagina if one was put right in front of his face. Well, it was now or never. You took a deep breath and stood up and straightened your skirt. His eyes followed your gaze for a brief moment, then trolled up and down your body. He leaned back in his chair a bit in surprise, his palms moving to the tops of his thighs. 

 

“Well Professor,” you began … “I know I haven’t exactly been one of your brightest students, and I certainly know I’ve racked up quite a few absences ….” you ran your hands along the desk as you made your way to his chair. “Umm, I was wondering if … somehow … you give extra credit?” You looked down at him. You had the high ground now. His expression was priceless -- eyes wide and eyebrows raised, lips slightly ajar. He ran his hand through his hair again.

 

“Hmmmmm,” he leaned further back in his chair, spreading his legs a bit. “Extra credit? What did you have in mind?” 

 

Okay, you totally didn’t expect this to be  _ this _ easy. He either knows  _ exactly _ what you’re talking about, or he’s completely clueless and thinks you legit want to do extra credit!

 

You took a deep breath and got down on your knees between his legs, placing a palm on his upper thigh. “I think you know what I’m talking about,” you said, looking up at him, fanning your lashes and biting your lower lip. 

 

He didn’t say anything for what seemed like an eternity. He appeared to be contemplating your suggestion. You had him on edge now and you didn’t want to lose him, so you slid your hand further up his thigh and didn’t stop until your hand nudged something between his legs. Definitely his semi-hard cock. Fuck it, you decided to just go  _ in _ … and you completely palmed his bulge. But you were the one to gasp … not Professor Ren. Professor Ren had a huge dick! And he wasn’t even fully hard. “Ohhh,” you said softly in surprise. Whoops. You didn’t mean to say that out loud.

 

Professor Ren had still not moved. What the fuck? Did you scare him stiff? You looked up at him and smiled innocently. “Well? Does Professor Ren give extra credit?” You started massaging his cock slowly, feeling it harden even more in your hand.

 

You gasped in surprise when you felt him grasp your wrist tightly and slowly remove your hand from his dick. Shit! This wasn’t supposed to happen. You were expecting Professor Ren to be completely easy to manipulate and seduce.

  
You looked into his eyes, expecting him to be looking panicked and confused, but instead he was looking at you hungrily, like he was the galaxy’s biggest predator. And you were his prey.

 

“Lock the door,” he commanded, his voice deep and authoritative.

 

_ What the fuck? _

 

“O-okay,” you stammered, getting up and walking across the room to lock the door. You jiggled the knob to make sure it was indeed locked. Now you were the one with the shaky hands.

 

When you turned around, professor Ren was already standing.

 

“I had no idea I had such a filthy slut in my class,” he said, walking around his desk, stalking slowly toward you. You shifted uncomfortably but stayed standing where you were. He stopped right in front of you. “Put your hands on my desk. Now.” You did as you were told, heart racing. 

 

Was this the same man who had been teaching your philosophy class all semester? Professor Ren was definitely not who you thought he was.

 

“Arch your back,” he commanded from behind you. As soon as you began to position yourself, you felt him slide a hand up the back of your skirt and lift it over your hips. He snorted and kicked your feet apart so you were completely displayed before him.

 

“I knew you weren’t wearing any panties,” you felt his breath on your ear as he leaned over and whispered. “I could smell your delicious cunt the second you stepped in my class.” You felt his hand trail up your inner thigh and graze over your pussy lips. You whimpered at his touch.

  
  


He began to smear your arousal around your cunt, spreading your lips apart and smearing the juices over your clit. His fingers started circling you  _ right there _ , and you let out another soft moan.

 

“Shut the fuck up,” he whispered in your ear. “Unless you want the entire third floor to know you’re a filthy slut.”

 

Your face went completely red. You were always the one in charge. Being a complete submissive was something you weren’t used to, but you were getting extremely turned on at the fact that this big hulk of a man was ordering you around. He moved his hand away from your pussy and you felt a slight wave of disappointment. You heard him sucking the juices off his fingers obscenely. He wanted you to know exactly what he was doing.  _ Oh Professor Ren was so filthy! _

 

You heard a zipper and the rustling of clothes, and you craned your neck to see what he was doing. You saw his massive dick, red and leaking with precum. Your eyes went wide. Before your eyes could linger on it anymore, you felt a strong hand on the back of your neck position your head forward. “Lean forward on your elbows,” he commanded. 

 

Were you ready for this? You’ve seduced two professors before Professor Ren, and all it involved was you pulling your shirt down low to show off a lot of boobs. You were definitely not expecting it to go this far, with a sexual deviant no less! A blowjob maybe, but you were naked from the waist down and bent over his desk!

 

He kicked your legs apart even further, and you felt the head of his cock prodding your entrance and then slide up and down your slit. His hand reached around the front of you and pulled your tank top and bra down to expose your breasts.

 

“I didn’t realize you were so thirsty for my dick,” he said, still sliding around your slit. You moaned quietly, well aware that there were probably students and faculty members walking around the halls outside the door.

 

“Ready?” you heard him ask from behind you.

 

As odd as this entire situation was, you were definitely ready for Professor Ren’s cock. You felt your pussy and clit throbbing with need. Your pussy was glistening with arousal. “Yes Professor,” you whined.

 

“Yes, what (y/n)?”

 

“Yes, I’m ready for you to fuck me, Professor,” you begged.

 

You felt his hand clasp over your mouth tightly, and for a second you started to panic. But the panic went away immediately and turned to shock when Professor Ren shoved his entire cock inside of you to the hilt in one sudden motion. You screamed into his hand while he let out a soft groan.

 

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck,” he said in a hushed whisper as he started to draw back slowly and pound into you again.

 

Professor Ren’s cock was an absolutely monster. As wet as you were, you were unable to escape the initial feeling of pain as your pussy desperately tried to accommodate to his size. You felt completely full. You had definitely no room left in your pussy for anything else. Professor Ren’s cock was just so filling. He was hitting parts of your insides that you never even knew you had! You moaned again into his hand when he slammed back inside a second time. Thank God his hand was over your mouth. Everyone in the building, nevermind just the third floor, would have known what you two were doing if your mouth hadn’t been covered.

 

“Tell me,” he said between grunts and pants as he slammed into you forcefully…. “How the fuck … is your cunt still so tight ... for being such a slut?”

 

You responded with another moan. The initial pain was finally giving way to pleasure as your pussy accepted him and pulsed around his girth. 

 

“If I take my hand off your mouth, are you going to be a good little whore and be quiet?” he said, slowing his thrusting. He pulled back just enough so his cock head was separating your pussy lips before pushing himself into you again. You could feel every single inch, vein, curve and ridge of his thick cock. You nodded, and he slowly peeled his hand away from your mouth, finger by finger.

 

“Good girl,” he whispered in your ear, leaning over you.

 

Both his hands were gripping your hips now as he began to pick up the pace, slamming into you with brute force. Your whimpers and his heavy breathing filled the room, along with the obscene wet slapping noises where his pelvis was hitting your ass and his balls were tapping your pussy.

 

His cock was hitting you so deep, poking far inside of you. You curled up your back in response, but you felt his hand push down on the small of your back, forcing you to arch once again. “Just take it,” he said in a low, hushed tone. “Take this cock like the good little whore that you are.”

 

“It’s so deep Professor,” you whined. You reached down between your legs to rub your clit to take some of the pressure away. You could hardly keep your finger on it .. your shared juices were making your fingers slide every which way. “Oh my God,” you panted.

 

Professor Ren wasn’t slowing down. He seemed to be speeding up. You were bracing for him to cum, but instead you felt him pull his cock out of you. You felt a mixture of relief from the fullness inside of your cunt but you were also aching to have him back inside you. You looked in back of you to see what he was planning. 

 

You felt his hands grip your hips as he picked you up, turned you around and plopped your ass onto his desk. His cock was jutting out like a flagpole. God, it was huge. How the hell was he still conscious with all that blood filling his cock? You looked up at his face, which was flushed and sweaty. There were a few strands of his hair sticking to the sides of his face.  _ Fuck, he was so hot. _

 

He gripped your legs underneath your knees and spread them wide before sliding his cock inside your cunt once again. “Oh my God,” you gasped out loud. You could definitely feel all of it in this position too! You whimpered and placed your hand on his chest, trying to slow him down a bit. You’ve had your fair share of cocks in your life, but Professor Ren’s dick was proving to be the ultimate challenge. That didn’t seem to work. He wasn’t slowing down, and his cock was deeper than ever. His chest was so hard under your hands. You moved to lift the bottom of his navy long sleeve. You were expecting him to ignore you, but he stopped his thrusts momentarily to lift his shirt above his head. Wow. Professor Ren not only had a huge dick, but he had the body of a Greek God.

 

You ran your hand along his chest and down his chiseled abdomen and then closed your eyes and let your head fall back as he resumed his thrusts, moaning softly. You couldn’t believe that the best fuck of your life was coming from a Professor you thought was a prude. Well played, Professor Ren, you thought. Well played.

 

He let go of on of your legs and moved down to thumb your clit. You watched him staring at your pussy and his cock moving in and out of your cunt. You started to feel your cunt flutter. “Professor … I’m close,” you whispered with a sense of urgency. “I’m going to cum Professor,” you said, looking in his eyes.

 

“Cum on my cock,” he urged. “I want to feel your pussy squeeze my cock.” He started moving faster, his thumb working your clit mercilessly.

 

And without any further warning, your pussy was clenching around his dick. You had to cover your own mouth with your hand because you couldn’t hold back your cries of pleasure.

 

“Fuuuck,” he whispered, staring in your eyes while you got off. “Yesss,” he whispered again. You heard him grunt and felt his thrusts lose their rhythmn as he reached his peak. His head fell into your neck and you fisted his hair to bring him closer to you. His hair felt soft and smelled like a mixture of his cologne and shampoo. You felt the warm strings of his seed coating your insides, and that feeling alone was enough to get your clit buzzing again.

 

Once his hips stopped jerking, he lifted his head to look up at you. The look of hunger was gone, and for a moment, he looked like innocent Professor Ren. His lips looked so kissable, so you moved forward and gently placed a kiss on his lips.

 

He pulled back quickly and at the same time, pulled out his now semi-limp dick, coated in both of your juices. “Don’t,” he said. “That’s not what this is.”

 

He grabbed some tissues off his desk and wiped off his dick and pulled his pants up. He walked over to a gym bag on the side of his desk and pulled out a towel, wiping down the sheen and sweat that covered his forehead, arms and chest. He didn’t offer you his towel nor a tissue.

 

You hopped off his desk, feeling awkward as hell, pulling down your skirt. You reached for a tissue to wipe off his cum from inside your pussy, but before you could grab one, he took the box of tissues away.

 

“No,” he said, with an evil smirk on his face. “I want you to feel my cum inside of you for the rest of the day.”

 

Two can play this game. You nodded. “I was hoping you’d say that, Professor….”

 

He looked at you in awe, and then appreciation.

 

“So .. about my grade..” you began.

 

“Oh yeah … I almost forgot,” he said sarcastically.

 

You stood there, eager to hear what he had to say. You somehow felt ashamed that you exchanged sex for a passing grade. 

 

He opened his gradebook and slid his finger down to your name. “So you currently have an F … but I’ll change it to a C. I mean, it needs to be believable, right?” he said genuinely.

 

You nodded. “That works for me. Thank you Professor.”

 

You picked up your bag and headed toward the door.

 

“(Y/N) wait,” Professor Ren called out.

 

You turned around, only to see the softness in his eyes once again. He was suddenly Professor Ren again, the prude, shy, and awkward Professor Ren.

 

“Yeah?” you said hesitantly. What else could he want from you?

 

“I’m sorry if things got a little… uh ...intense in here.” He shifted uncomfortably. “Are you alright?”

 

You nodded. “I’m fine, Professor.”

 

He looked relieved. “One more thing (y/n) ...if you want a B, you can give me your number,” he said with a smirk.


	2. TGIF

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have made quite the impression on Professor Ren.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I decided to keep going with this based on a few comments I received. Thank you for reading, and please feel free to leave me a comment! They give me life :)

You were thankful your last class of the day was canceled. Your pussy was sore from the pounding Professor Ren had given you earlier, and you were self conscious of the way you had been walking around campus all afternoon. You rewarded yourself with a long shower and a warm cup of tea before you curled up on your couch to study. But your attention span just wasn’t there tonight. So you grabbed your phone and started scrolling through Instagram. There was nothing out of the ordinary. Selfies. Lots of selfies from your friends. Oh, and food pictures. It was then that your phone vibrated and notified you of a new text message.

 

**Tony** : R u staying in on a Friday night or do you want to meet me at The Palace?

 

You sighed for a few reasons. One, you were hoping the text would be from a certain professor you had fucked earlier. Second, Tony was a total sweetheart, but you couldn’t seem to get him off your ass no matter how many times you tried to blatantly reject him. I mean, he was completely attractive, but he was a little too much of a jock for you. You preferred your men with perhaps a little more intelligence. Someone who kept you on your toes and who also had a good sense of humor. Someone who was tall, dark, and handsome. Someone who marched to the beat of their own drum. Was that too much to ask? Apparently it was, because you hadn’t been in a serious relationship for almost a year.

 

You hesitated, but you eventually responded. Sometimes Tony had the tendency to try and keep conversations going on text when they were really one-sided.  _ His _ sided. Text conversations with Tony were much more of a chore than anything else.

 

**You:** I really have to study. Sorry! :(

 

There. You did your due diligence, so hopefully he’d be out of your hair. You put your phone down.  _ Please don’t text me back!  _ A few seconds later, you heard a ding. _ Fuck. _

 

**Tony:** I can come over and bring some coffee and cupcakes. I can quiz u too ;)~

 

Jesus. Really?

 

**You:** lol Sorry, I can’t. I really should get back to studying.

 

_ Go away!  _ That’s what you really wanted to say.

 

**Tony:** aiiiight. maybe we can chill tomorrow?

 

Ugh. This conversation had to end now. You didn’t respond and tossed your phone on one of the couch cushions. He just never got the hint. You picked up your notebook and started to review your notes.  _ Focus _ ! You tried to will yourself. And then your cell phone rang. You didn’t even look at the caller ID. You just figured it would be Tony calling to beg. You picked up the phone with haste.

 

“Tony, I said I had to study. I don’t want to go out tonight, and I don’t want you coming over. Okay?” The annoyance in your voice was clear. But there was a long pause on the other end, and then a small chuckle.

 

“I sure hope Tony isn’t your boyfriend. If he is, I don’t think he’d be happy that we fucked earlier.”

 

Your jaw dropped and your heart leapt into your throat. That sexy deep voice definitely didn’t belong to Tony.

 

You tried to steady your breath before responding. You didn’t want Professor Ren to think of you as a bumbling idiot. Besides,  _ you _ were supposed to be the seductress! You had to reach inside yourself to find that inner fire again. There was something about Professor Ren that turned you into melted butter.

 

You gave your best sexy laugh. “No.” You were at a loss of what to say. You were still trying to comprehend the fact that Professor Ren was on the line, that he was the one that called you. On a Friday night no less!

 

“Well, who’s Tony?” he asked. He sounded a little jealous but you could tell he was smiling when he asked.

 

“Definitely not my boyfriend,” you said. “He’s actually a friend. Well, not really a friend. He …”

 

“A fuck buddy?” he interrupted. This time there was no mistaking the jealousy in his voice.

 

“What?! God no!” You huffed. “He wishes. That’s the problem.”

 

Professor Ren snorted. “I see.”

 

There was a pause on the line again.

  
“I didn’t expect a call from you so soon,” you said.

 

“Why’s that?” 

 

“Well, it’s Friday. And I figured you’d have a hot date or something.”

 

“Hmmmm. About that. I’m still working on it,” he said. 

 

“Is that so?” you asked. You had an inkling of where this was going, and your heart was beating a million times a minute.

 

“Mmmm hmm. So, what are you up to?”

 

You smiled to yourself. Okay, so it wasn’t just a smile. It was a shit-eating grin that was so wide your cheeks were starting to hurt. 

 

“I’m studying, or trying to at least.”

 

“Yeah? I didn’t think you had to study for your grades.”

 

You winced. “Ouch.” Okay, maybe you deserved that.

 

“I’m sorry. That was actually a low blow.” He genuinely sounded like he felt bad.

 

“It’s fine. But if you really want to know, I’ve never done THAT with a professor before,” you admitted.

 

“So I busted your student-professor cherry?” he said.

 

“I guess so,” you were trying to stifle a laugh. This conversation was so ridiculous, but Professor Ren was sort of addicting. And his voice alone sent shivers to your core.

 

“Perhaps I can entice you to pay me a visit,” he said huskily. It wasn’t a question.

 

“Uhhhhhmmmm,” you thought out loud. You knew you were going to say yes, but you wanted him to work for it. “Maaaybe.”

 

“I’ve been thinking about you all day,” he said without shame.

 

“Really? I must have made quite an impression.” You raised an eyebrow.

 

“Enough to make me call you not even 8 hours after we fucked,” he said, his tone taking a serious turn.

 

God, his voice was sexy as fuck.

 

You smiled to yourself, not realizing you had gone silent.

 

“Please?” he broke the silence. You heard what you wanted. The desperation. The longing. He was begging. Finally! He was begging.

 

“Text me your address,” you said with a smirk.

 

\-----------------------------------------------------------------

 

Like a gentleman, Professor Ren hooked you up with an Uber that brought you directly to his two-story brownstone. Ok, so the guy obviously came from money because no professor his age could amass the kind of fortune it took to buy a brownstone in Brooklyn. I mean, he couldn’t be older than 30?

 

You stepped out of your Uber and tugged on the hem of your tight dress. It was a chilly night, but Professor Ren requested you wear something sexy and short … and no bra or underwear. So of course, you had to comply. You wore a very revealing white dress that showed off your ample cleavage. It was short, and the slit of your dress reached the peak of your thigh. You had to be careful with your movements in public, unless you wanted to give someone a show. And the only show you wanted to give tonight was to Professor Ren.

 

You slowly walked up the steps, carefully checking to make sure the number on the door matched the number he texted you before ringing the bell.  _ What the fuck am I doing _ , you muttered to yourself. You heard footsteps a few moments later, and he opened the door looking sexy as fuck. He was wearing black jeans and a white undershirt. His muscular form underneath his shirt was not hard to miss. You had never seen him without a suit jacket or a long-sleeve shirt during class. You were living for his casual look.

 

He had that same predatory look in his eyes when you were back in his office earlier in the day. “Ms. Y/N,” he said with a hint of a smirk. “Glad you could make it. Come in.” He motioned with his hand in a very over the top manner.

 

You walked inside and smelled his sexy scent when you passed him. A man’s cologne was one of your biggest turn-ons. You turned around to face him, still inhaling his intoxicating smell, and saw his eyes immediately move up from your ass to your face.  _ Busted _ ! This was exactly the reaction you were hoping for when you picked this dress. He closed the door and continued looking you up and down like a predator.

 

If you were being honest with yourself, you were hoping to the high heavens he’d just take you here and now. But of course, he had to be a tease. He walked over to you with swagger, placing his hand very high on your upper waist. You felt his finger tips resting underneath your breast as he guided you further into his home and toward his pristine kitchen. Your heart fluttered and you could feel yourself slicken between your thighs.

 

“What can I get you to drink, Ms. (Y/N)?”

 

_ Damnit. _


	3. Let's Go For a Ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for a little fun at Professor Ren's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it. Time to change my panties, now! ;)

Professor Ren’s house was beautiful. As you looked around, you decided he must have had a maid clean and organize it daily. You couldn’t find a spec of dust or an item out of place. Going by his furniture and fancy gadgets in the kitchen, you took it that he had a penchant for only the finest things. It was definitely the opposite of a bachelor pad. Oh my God. What if he was married!? Nah, he couldn’t be married. You’d never seen a ring on his finger.

Your eyes continued scanning your surroundings while you took another sip of your Chardonnay, trying to find clues or signs of a woman’s presence, and you could find none. You noticed the wine glass you were holding bore the initials KR.

“What’s your first name, Professor?” you looked toward him casually, still playing it cool. He was nonchalantly leaning against his granite countertop, glass of scotch in one hand and the other in his pocket while he was clearly still admiring you in that dress.

He took a slow sip of his drink before he answered you. “Why?” He looked at you with amusement.

You giggled uncomfortably. “Well, your initials are on my glass. It got me wondering.”

“We don’t need to get personal, Ms. (y/n),” he said, taking another sip of his drink.

“Ooookay.” You laughed again nervously. There was an awkward silence that forced you to look away and pretend you were interested in your surroundings. He had no family photos or mementos anywhere. The entire house was high-tech but rather impersonal. Truly a man of mystery. The sound of his empty drink glass being placed on his countertop made you jump. He noticed.

“Nervous?” He was walking closer to you now, both hands in his pockets.

You took a big gulp of your wine and placed it on the countertop next to his empty glass. “Should I be?” You were determined to maintain some semblance of control. 

He gave a small huff and the side of his lips curled up in a smirk. He made his way to the living room and sat on his couch before taking off his shirt. He threw it on a neighboring chair and started unbuttoning his jeans and lowered his pants and boxers. His cock was standing straight at attention as he looked over at you.

“Sit on my cock,” he commanded. You couldn’t take your eyes off of his dick. You couldn’t believe that this... beast was inside of you earlier and that you lived to tell the tale. You sauntered over to him slowly until you were standing in front of his knees. He pulled his pants the rest of the way down and looked at you, waiting to see what you were going to do next. You could see the hunger in his eyes, and that gave you the confidence you needed to straddle him and line his cock up to your entrance. His hands went to your hips in anticipation, lifting up the ends of your dress, ready to push you down on his impressive length.

You decided to tease him a bit, hovering over him with the head of his cock barely grazing your entrance. Professor Ren took a deep breath, waiting for your next move. When you didn’t budge he bucked his hips upward, sheathing himself until he was inside of you completely. You gasped, and he let out a breath like he’d been holding it for the past two minutes.

Just like earlier today, he didn’t give you any time to adjust to his size. “Jesus Christ,” you said through gritted teeth, trying to steady yourself with your hands on his shoulders. You were still sore from this morning.

“Move,” he huffed.

Your pussy was so wet that you had no difficulty moving up and down, back and forth, and in circles to feel every inch of him inside you.

“Yes, that’s it. Good girl. Fuuuck, your cunt feels so good,” he whispered. You loved the sound of his voice when he whispered. It sounded so dirty. You moaned in response.

“Do you like riding my cock like a whore?” His eyes were half-lidded as they bore into yours.

“Uh huh,” was all you could muster in between breaths.

You felt his hands digging into your hips very aggressively as he leaned his face forward, moving the fabric of the top of your dress to the side so he can suck on your nipples. Your head fell back in pleasure as his tongue grazed over your sensitive buds. You ran your hands over his broad chest in an attempt to gain more leverage and grind onto him even deeper.

“Thaaat’s it,” he encouraged. “Just like that.” 

He moved one of his hands off your hips to start thumbing your clit. You moaned again, grateful you didn’t have to worry about any students or faculty members who may be listening in. His gaze was focused on where you two were connected, watching his cock move in and out of your pussy. You looked down and saw the wetness your cunt was leaving on his length. His massive thumb expertly caressing your sensitive pearl.

That’s when you lost it. Your first wave of pleasure hit, and your pussy fluttered around his cock as you came loudly. You fell forward, your forehead resting on his shoulder while you rode out your orgasm. His thumb left your clit and he grasped your hips again, trying desperately to push your body deeper on to his cock while you were temporarily under your orgasm’s spell. 

“I got you,” he whispered in your ear. As soon as you came down from your orgasm, he gave you no time to recover. Pulling out of you, he flipped you on to the couch and spread your legs and quickly got down on his knees. He grabbed you by the ankles to scoot your ass closer to the edge of the couch. His face was buried in your cunt before you even realized his intentions.

You let out a loud moan when you felt him tonguing your clit. Oooh, Professor Ren really knew how to eat a pussy. He ran his tongue from your entrance all the way up to your clit, gathering your extra juices before he flicked your swollen clit with his tongue. You felt him pull apart your pussy lips with his thumbs and gently suck on the sensitive flesh before laying his tongue flat against your clit in broad, upward strokes. You wanted to come so badly, but you decided to be greedy and hold it in for as long as possible. You didn’t want Professor Ren to stop. You wanted Professor Ren to live between your legs.

You ran your hands through his hair and grabbed on to it, guiding his face and grinding your clit against his tongue and prominent nose. He moaned, and the vibration against your pussy set off your second orgasm in a matter of minutes. You screamed loudly, squeezing your thighs against his head to lock him in place. After a few moments, your thighs eased up on his head and you felt him gently kiss your clit before he moved away. Thank goodness you didn’t crush the poor man to death.

His face was right in front of yours now, his nose, lips and chin covered in your spend. “I could eat your pussy all day,” he whispered.

You felt his hands on your inner thighs spread your legs even further apart as he slid his cock back inside of you. Your eyes rolled in the back of your head. Your pussy was so wet that you had no difficulty taking his cock anymore, and you looked down to watch him move inside of you. “Oh fuuck … Professor,” you moaned. You had no idea how much more you could take. 

“Play with your pussy,” he said breathlessy. “I want to watch you touch yourself while I fuck you.”

“It’s so sensitive Professor,” you moaned, but you touched your slit anyway. He fucked you relentlessly. He was like a machine, only slowing down when he wanted to look at the wetness of your cunt.

“I’m going to come inside this pretty little pussy,” he panted. 

You were so lost in the moment that you were almost going to wholeheartedly comply. But wait! You weren’t on any birth control. It’s not like you had a boyfriend and you were having regular sex. Professor Ren had already come inside you this morning, and that had been too much of a risk as it is.

“Wait … Professor, I’m not on the pill,” you said quickly.

“I don’t give a fuck,” he said, looking you in the eye defiantly. That seemed to turn him on even more because he started slamming into you harder, coming only seconds later. You felt the warmth spurts of his come releasing inside of you. It felt so dirty and wrong, but in a good way. You orgasmed again when you felt his spend releasing inside of you.

You stayed in this position for a little while until your breathing started to slow, his head resting against your breasts that were now hanging out of the front of your dress.

He pulled out of you slowly and you winced. Shortly after you felt some of his come dripping out of your pussy, so you pressed your legs together to maintain some of your dignity.

You wanted so badly for him to lean forward and kiss you, but you remembered what he had said to you earlier in the day. That’s not what this is about. Your heart sank a little bit realizing that you were truly being used for sex. But I mean, that was OK right? This was a mutual agreement between the both of you. You were two consenting adults just having casual sex. It’s not like he was your boyfriend. What did it matter if you didn’t kiss. Right? 

Professor Ren stood up, already pulling his jeans and boxers back up and was reaching for his shirt. You sighed, adjusting your dress so you could look a bit more put together and not just freshly fucked. You were dreading looking in the mirror.

“Umm, where’s your bathroom?” You’re pretty sure you knew where it was. You think you saw another door right off the kitchen, but you figured you’d be polite and ask anyway.

“Uh uh,” he said, turning toward you and waved his finger. “I’m sending you home dripping in my come.”


	4. Dinner Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You may have spotted Professor Ren on a date. And you may be a little ... jealous?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy this chapter! I'll have another chapter update Saturday and the smut will resume.

You felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. Finals were over! And because of the deal you made with Professor Ren, you were certain you had passed every class. Tonight was a night of celebration, but first you had to get through dinner with your mother. It was a tradition at the end of every semester that she take you to Le Cinq, a Michelin star restaurant and one of the finest restaurants in the city.

 

You got an Uber to take you to the restaurant and met your mother there.

 

“Honey you look beautiful. Red has always been your color,” your mother said as she embraced you and kissed your cheek.

 

“Thanks mom,” you hugged her back. “You look just as lovely.”

 

“Congratulations on another semester,” she beamed. “One more to go before graduation! You’re so close! Your father and I are so excited. I’m sorry he couldn’t be here tonight, but he’s been stuck in London trying to close this deal and …”

 

“Don’t worry mom, I know,” you assured her. “It’s ok. I just can’t wait to get through one more semester.” You blew out some air through puffed cheeks. “I can’t handle all this stress all of the time.”

 

“Excuse me ladies, your table is ready,” your hostess said right behind you. “Right this way, please.”

 

“Thank you,” you and your mother said in unison.

 

As soon as you were seated at your table, you began scanning the restaurant. You loved people watching, especially in establishments like this one. There was no shortage of overly fancy people who looked like they were taking themselves way too seriously. And there was always an older woman or two who loaded on a pound of makeup in an effort to look 15 years younger. It never worked.

 

Your gaze went to the far corner of the restaurant and your heart stopped. It was Professor Ren sitting at a table by himself. He was pondering over the menu with a drink in his hand.

 

“Oh my God,” you said out loud, trying to cover your face. Your reaction immediately drew a look from your mother.

 

“What is it?” she asked.

 

“One of my professors is here.”

 

“Where?”

 

“Don’t look now, but in the corner. Dark suit. Beautiful hair, brooding, and handsome.”

 

Your mother immediately followed your gaze, turning around to look at him.

 

“Mom, I said don’t look now!” you scolded in a harsh whisper.

 

Professor Ren must have felt like he was being watched, because he looked up and his gaze met your own.

 

“Shit … great,” you whispered. “I am going to have to go over there and say hi really quick or else he’s going to think I’m rude. Order me a water and a Chardonnay if the server comes. I’ll be right back.”

 

Your mom nodded, simultaneously mouthing the word sorry. You rolled your eyes.

 

You made your way over to his table awkwardly as he continued to look over his menu. You hadn’t spoken to each other in 5 days since you left his home the night you had sex on his couch. You made sure to drop off your final essay in his drop slot as quickly as possible earlier in the week to avoid an uncomfortable run in.

 

“Hi Professor,” you said.

 

He placed his menu down and gave you the tiniest smirk. “Hi, Miss (Y/N), I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” He took a sip of his drink.

 

“Yeah, I don’t come here often. Way too expensive for students … obviously. My mom takes me here for a celebratory dinner at the end of every semester.”

 

“I see,” he said. He glanced over at your mother and then back at you. He looked oddly uncomfortable and not his charismatic self. You wove your fingers together awkwardly, not really knowing what else to say.

 

“Well I suppose I should ....” you were interrupted.

 

“BEN! I hope you weren’t waiting long.” A pale brunette was suddenly standing next to you. She was pretty, maybe late 20s.

 

_Ben? Who the fuck was Ben?_

 

Professor Ren stood up and hugged the woman and she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before she sat down at his table. She looked up at you and then to Professor Ren. “Who’s this?” she asked.

 

“One of my students,” Professor Ren interjected quickly. “She’s here with her mother having dinner.” He didn’t look at you but just pretended to be looking at his menu.

 

“Oh that’s cute,” she said. “Well, have a good dinner sweetie!”

 

_Oh hell no. This woman did not just call you sweetie. Doesn’t she know that a female calling another female sweetie when you’re around the same age as each other is one of the bitchiest things a woman can do?_

 

You gave your fakest smile and nodded. “Enjoy your dinner. Goodbye _Ben_ ,” you made sure to say his name extra loudly. You hoped he could sense the resentment in your voice. He looked up at you with puppy dog eyes. He looked … worried? Guilty? At this point you didn’t care. It’s not like you were a couple. Why would you be jealous that he was on a date? Although it seemed like he knew this woman for longer than five days, when he last fucked you like an animal on his couch.

 

You walked back to your table where you mother was waiting, trying your best not to cry. You felt the sting of oncoming tears, but a few deep breaths willed them away.

 

“All good?” your mother asked.

 

“Mmm hmm,” you said a little higher pitched than normal. _Not at all, actually._

 

You ate the rest of your dinner without daring to look in the back corner where Professor Ren was sitting. You had to get Professor Ren out of your mind. You had no idea why he had this effect on you, but you had to make it go away immediately. On your ride back home after dinner, you texted Tony.

 

You: Is the gang still meeting at Lavo tonight?

 

Tony: Of course. Are you coming out with us? Please say you are.

 

You: Fuck yes.

 

Tony: That’s my girl. Need a ride?

 

You: If you don’t mind.

 

Tony: I’ll pick you up at 10.

 

You: I’ll be here.

 

Tony: ;)~

 

* * *

 

You needed a confidence boost after your horrible encounter with Professor Ren at Le Cinq, so you decided on a black dress that would get you a lot of attention at Lavo. You laid the dress out on your bed and went to pick out your sexiest pair of heels. You silently scolded yourself for letting this entire Professor Ren situation get to you. Maybe seeing him tonight was for the best. There was no way these encounters with your professor could continue, and this was the reality check you needed. Professor Ren just used you for sex while that poor woman that he was with probably had no idea how much of an asshole he was. You hoped they hadn’t been dating for awhile. You didn’t want to carry that guilt on your shoulders.

 

There was a knock on your door. Weird. Tony wasn’t supposed to pick you up for another 15 minutes. Still wrapped up in your bath towel, you opened the door, prepared to tell Tony to wait for you in the living room while you finished getting ready. Except it wasn’t Tony.

 

You stood in the doorway, mouth slightly ajar and eyes narrowed.

 

“What are you doing here?” you blurted out. That was one of the things you hated about yourself. Sometimes your mouth said things before your brain could decide whether or not they came out as appropriate.

 

Professor Ren was still in his suit, standing in front of your door with his hands in his pant pockets.

 

“May I come in?” he asked. He ran a hand through his hair. He was still commanding and charismatic, but you sensed he was a bit nervous.

 

“Sorry, I’m not in the habit of catering to men after their dates don’t put out for them.” You went to close the door, but he kicked his foot out in front of him, jamming the door and preventing you from closing it.

 

You sighed. “Move your foot please … _Ben_ ,” you stared at him stonefaced.

 

He ran his hand through his hair again. “She wasn’t a date,” he confessed.

 

You huffed. “Liar.”

 

“I’m not lying.” His jaw shifted to the side and he looked down. “Not that it’s any of your business in the slightest, but she wasn’t a date.”

 

You sighed and looked down at your feet. You didn’t know what to say.

 

“Are you jealous?” he asked.

 

“No,” you said quickly. A little too quickly.

 

He bit his lower lip, studying you. He looked … amused.

 

This was so stupid. Whoever he went to dinner with was not your business. And in all honesty, you had no right to be jealous. But he also had no right to show up at your home.

 

There were a few more moments of silence between the two of you until he spoke again.

 

“Can I come in please?” he asked again.

 

“I .. have someone coming to pick me up in 15 minutes. I’m going out with my friends.”

 

“Who?”

 

“Someone.”

 

“A guy?” Professor Ren looked irritated and no longer apologetic.

 

You sighed and ignored his question. “Why are you here Professor?”

 

“Because it’s been 5 days since I last touched you, and I can’t wait anymore.”

 

You suddenly felt very vulnerable standing before this very tall man in a towel, completely naked underneath. You felt a tingle between your legs thinking about the way he took you not more than a week ago.

 

He leaned forward and whispered in your ear. “Please?” He smelled like cologne and his breath was minty. _Ugh, he just kills you every time he begs._

 

You bit your bottom lip. “I really can’t, Professor. Someone is coming to pick me up any minute now.”

 

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Tony strolling down the hallway. _Shit. Fuck. Damnit._

 

“Hey (Y/N), sorry I’m a little early.” He looked confusingly to you and Professor Ren then back at you. “Is everything OK?”

 

Professor Ren stood at full height, trying to appear more intimidating. Tony was built and also tall, but Professor Ren still had about 2 inches on him.

 

“Everything’s fine, Tony,” you said. “I’m sorry, I was going to call you earlier but I’m not feeling well. I’m running a slight fever, so I think I’m going to stay in tonight. My neighbor Ben here was kind enough to bring me over some Ibuprofen to help with the aches.”

 

You prayed to the heavens that Tony didn’t recognize Ben as a professor.

 

“Oh shoot, I’m sorry. Did you want me to stay with you a bit? I can pick you up some soup and bring it back?” Tony put his hand on your bicep and was rubbing your upper arm with his thumb. You noticed Professor Ren’s fists flex and then clench.

 

“I’m fine Tony thank you.”

 

“Okay, I’ll text you tomorrow. Take it easy tonight.” Tony nodded in Professor Ren’s direction. “Later man.”

 

Professor Ren nodded back but said nothing.

 

As soon as Tony was out of sight, Professor Ren turned toward you, looking at you like you were a 10-course meal and he hadn’t eaten in days.

 

“And you have the nerve to call me a liar,” he said, as the side of his mouth curled up into a smirk.

 

You rolled your eyes, trying to suppress a smile.

 

“You can come in, but you’re not touching me until you tell me why your non-date called you Ben.”

 

“Fine.”


	5. It Wasn't Supposed to be This Way

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goddamnit. Someone is starting to fall. Hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! I updated early! The perks of leaving work early on a Friday. Next update is coming tomorrow, or Sunday the latest.

You walked over to your fridge to grab two water bottles for you and _Ben_. He stood behind you in the kitchen, watching you like a hawk.

 

“Let’s go sit down, and you can tell me all about _Ben_ ,” you motioned toward the couch.

 

He swaggered over to your living room and waited for you to sit down in your chair before he took a seat.

 

“Well?” you said expectantly as you took a sip from your bottled water. “Who’s Ben?”

 

He raised his eyebrows, laying up one of his arms across the top of the couch and lazily crossing his legs. It was then you noticed his fancy shoes with red bottoms. Professor Ren looked sexy dressed to the Nines.

 

“He’s me,” he said flatly. Did he really think that was an answer?

 

“Obviously.” You were quite unimpressed. “Keep going,” you waved your hand.

 

“My birth name … my legal name ... is Ben Solo. Kylo Ren is a name I use for teaching.”

 

You looked at him quizzically. “Why?”

 

He drew a long sigh. “Y/N, if you couldn’t already tell, I’d like to avoid things becoming too personal between us. There are some boundaries I’d like to keep. Okay?”

 

That comment shouldn’t have hurt you, but it did. A little. Okay, maybe more than a little.

 

“Okay,” you nodded. You gave him a smile of assurance and hoped that he couldn’t see past the fact that it wasn’t genuine.

 

He uncrossed his legs and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. His eyes lingered on the top of your legs, just underneath your towel.

 

“Where’s your bedroom?” he asked huskily, just above a whisper.

 

You motioned behind you. He quickly stood up and walked over to you, lifting you up while you instinctually wrapped your legs around his waist. He was so big and strong. You felt so perfect in his arms. You planted kisses on his neck and jawline. Your towel fell to the floor as he carried you to your bed.

 

He placed you gently on the edge of the bed and stepped back, admiring your naked form.

 

“Take off your clothes,” you whispered. “I want to see you.”

 

He started loosening his tie and unbuttoning his shirt while you went for his belt. You couldn’t wait any longer. When he got down to his black boxer briefs, he gently pushed your shoulders back so you were laying on the bed with your legs dangling off the side. He grabbed your wrist, sliding your hair tie off your hand. You tilted your neck up to see him gathering his hair in a half ponytail and clearing it away from his face.

 

“What are you d…” you began.

 

“I’m going to eat your pussy,” he said nonchalantly before you could finish your question. He hovered over your prone form, both hands on the side of your head. “And I don’t want _any_ distractions.”

 

You felt his lips run down your neck and trail down between your breasts. You felt his hands on your inner thighs and gently open up your legs. You could feel your wetness pooling _down there_ as you felt his soft lips kiss your inner thighs, each side of your labia, and your mound right above your perfectly waxed and shaped landing strip. Basically everywhere except your clit, where you were desiring his mouth to be the most.

 

“Please,” you whimpered.

 

“Please what?” he asked, running his tongue along the side of one of your lips, then the other.

 

“I need your mouth … _there_ ,” you begged. “Please.” You shifted your hips to try and position your clit closer to his mouth. He went back to kissing and sucking on your inner thighs. You could swear you felt him smirking against your leg.

 

“So thirsty,” he whispered.

 

He brought his thumbs to your pussy lips and spread you open, then licked a long and steady stripe from your opening all the way up to your clit. You sucked in a deep breath through your teeth and fisted your sheets. “Mmmmmm,” you mewled.

 

He licked you in the same exact way again, bringing the wetness of your pussy up to your clit, and spreading it around your lips with his tongue.

 

“I can’t get enough of the taste of you,” he whispered. You could feel his warm breath against your clit. You whimpered again. He gently sucked on your swollen bundle of nerves before rolling his tongue around it in circles and light and steady strokes in an upward and downward motion.

 

You felt one of his fingers prod at your entrance and gently slide in. “Oooh, that was easy. You’re so wet for me, baby. Can you take two?”

 

He stopped momentarily and looked up at you. You looked down, “Please.”

 

He added a second finger, and you were enjoying the snug feeling of his fingers drawing in and out of your sopping cunt. His hands were large, and taking two of his fingers inside of you was more than satisfying. You felt him push up in a come hither motion deep inside, hitting your G spot, and it made you jolt and scream. “Fuck! God that feels so good.”

 

He took his other hand and simultaneously pressed down right above your mound. These sensations while he was tonguing your clit were too overwhelming. You felt like you had to cum, but it felt like something else. You began to lose it and starting panting and breathing deeply, succumbing to a kind of pressure you’ve never once felt before down there. You came … loudly, and stared in awe as you looked down and saw yourself squirt in the process. You were thankful for your wooden floors and the fact that Ben had moved his head to the side just in time to avoid getting a faceful of whatever that was that just happened to you.

 

“Jesus Christ,” he whispered. His expression was that of bewilderment. Eyes wide, eyebrows raised, a slight grin. “You’re a squirter. That was truly the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.” You felt his tongue lap up the rest of your arousal before he stood up, pulling down his black boxer briefs in haste. He was fully hard. You looked at his dick in appreciation, excited to feel it inside of you once again.

 

“I’m really sorry baby, but after seeing you just do that I don’t think I’m going to be able to last,” he confessed, hovering over you while you spread your legs to make room for him. “But don’t worry, I’ll make sure you come again before I do.”

 

You felt him line his cock to your entrance and push in all the way. It surprised you the first time you had sex, and because of his size, you didn’t really like it. But you had to admit that you did now. You loved the way he fucked. So primal. So animalistic. Like he needed your pussy to survive just as much as he needed water.

 

And Ben was not being gentle. To say your pussy was taking a pounding right now would have been putting it lightly. Between his heavy breathing and panting and cock filling every millimeter of your pussy, you were beside yourself. His pounding was giving your clit enough friction against his pelvis that you felt you were going to come again. You ran your hands down the rippled muscles of his smooth back, scraping your nails down his shoulder blades and digging in when you felt your release for the second time. The tight flutters of your cunt set his orgasm in motion. His hips jerked in a broken rhythm and he let out a long moan. And once again you felt his warm spend deep inside of you.

 

His hair was sticking to the sides of his face as he lay his body down beside you, head resting between your breasts. He sounded like he just ran a marathon, and honestly, so did you. Somewhere between his maniacal thrusting, he lost his hair tie. You stroked his hair away from his eyes and leaned your head down to kiss his temple.

 

 _Shit. Ooops._ You forgot. Ben had a no kissing policy. You were thankful that he was still in an orgasm-induced stupor to notice what you did. The kiss was so instinctual. It felt so right to you. But why? Were you starting to feel … something for him? No. _No_! This couldn’t be a good thing. Ben obviously wanted to avoid any kind of intimacy of that kind … he made a conscious effort not to get too personal. He wasn’t looking for what you seem to be longing for. You could lie to yourself all you want, but you wanted more than just a fuck buddy. You wanted a fuck buddy and a boyfriend. Someone who gave a shit about you. And that person wasn’t going to be Ben. You sighed, and then he broke the silence.

 

“Did you just kiss me?” he mumbled into your chest.

 

 _Fuck_. “Yes, it was an accident. It won’t happen again.” You almost apologized, but you thought the better of it.

 

Well, since you were on the subject, you might as well just get things over with.

 

“Professor … Ben … I don’t want to do this anymore,” you said, wincing in awkwardness. You knew he wasn’t looking at you.

 

There was silence for a few seconds before he responded, his head still nestled on your bare chest.

 

“Why’s that?” he asked calmly.

 

You didn’t want to give him a reason because truthfully, you felt like an idiot for thinking it was even remotely possible that this situation could turn into … well, something other than what it was. What it was intended to be.

 

“Because …,” you started, scrambling for a believable excuse.

 

“Because why?” he asked again. “Don’t lie to me. Just say it.” He was sitting up on the bed now, and his eyes seemed to be reaching into your soul.

 

“Please go,” you said, avoiding his gaze. You didn’t want to start crying in front of him. You didn’t want him to really go. In fact, you wanted him to hold you and kiss you and cuddle with you. But you were too afraid to say all of those things.

 

He looked down and twisted his jaw.

 

“I didn’t want … _this_ … to go there.” He said in a hushed tone. “I thought you understood what this was.” He was speaking with his hands. You noticed he did that during class when he was uncomfortable.

 

You turned completely away from him as soon as you felt a lone tear start falling down your cheek. Your nose was runny, but if you sniffled, it would have given you away. You held your ground.

 

“Go .. please,” you whispered. It was all you managed to get out without your voice cracking and betraying your feelings.

 

Without looking in his direction, you heard him gather his clothes and get dressed. Not shortly after you heard your front door close. That night, you had never cried that hard in a very long time.


	6. Brooklyn Streets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's no avoiding Ben Solo. Oh, no no no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this in a flu-induced stupor. Enjoy! :)

You were never good at expressing emotions in a healthy way. She asked you to leave, so you did. It’s what she wanted. Why, then, did you hear her crying the moment you walked out of the door? You attempted to get back into her house when you heard her muffled sobs, but the door had already locked from the inside. Perhaps it was for the best.

 

Now here you were, sitting on your living room couch in a pair of sweatpants like a bum, troubled by a girl ... of all things. _You_. You couldn’t remember the last time a woman ever gave you trouble, besides your mother. You grabbed your cell phone from the coffee table and dialed the only woman you had a steady relationship with in your life … your therapist.

 

“Hello Ben,” Karissa’s sing-song voice was a familiar and calming sound to your ears. “You don’t usually call me this late. What’s going on?”

 

“Hi Karissa,” you started. “I’m sorry it’s so late. I wanted to talk to you about something ... a girl,” you started.

 

“Okay,” she willed you to continue. “That’s nothing unusual. What about this girl has you calling me at 11:00 on a Wednesday night?”

 

“We had sex, more than once,” you said, still not believing it yourself. You’ve never been with or taken out the same girl more than once … _ever in your life_. With you, it was always one and done. You felt no emotional connection. You wanted no closeness. You were better off alone.

 

“Wow. Okay. You’ve seen her a second time. That’s great, Ben. That’s a great step in the right direction. Tell me about her.”

 

“I’ve actually been with her three times,” you said. “But she’s a student … a former student of mine actually ... the semester is pretty much wrapped up. She was the girl you saw at the restaurant. You wanted to know why I brushed her off as fast as I did? I didn’t want her to know who you were to me. I didn’t want her to think of me as a creep who needs to meet with a shrink once a week for having crippling intimacy issues. But I don’t know what the fuck is going on. I see her more than once, and I actually care about what she thinks of me. Fuck. I’m rambling. Can I … can I make an appointment for tomorrow?”

 

“Of course, Ben. But talk to me for a second. I would take this as a good thing. It’s progress. It seems like you’re starting to open yourself up a bit to someone else. Is that not okay with you?”

 

You ran your hand through your hair and down the back of your neck. “I wasn’t a nice man to her, Karissa,” you said. You hated admitting that out loud. It was like you were reliving a terrible moment you wanted to forget. “I acted like how I always do, with women I don’t want to be around for longer than I have to. Except, I didn’t mind being around her … at all. To tell you the truth, I hated seeing her go.”

 

“You can tell me all of this tomorrow, but you should also tell her how you’re feeling, Ben,” she said.

 

“What good will that do?”

 

“Ben, if she’s having this kind of effect on you, don’t you think it’s possible she’s feeling something similar?”

 

You grunted in deep thought.

 

“And if that’s the case, Ben, don’t you think she’d want an explanation? To know where your head is? You don’t have to tell her about your commitment and intimacy issues up front, but maybe in time you could open up about that, too. I mean, she must be really special if she has the Big and Bad Ben Solo’s panties in a twist.”

 

“Ha … Ha,” you mock laughed. “Text me with what times you have available for tomorrow and I’ll be there. Thanks for taking my call, Karissa.”

 

“Always a pleasure, Ben.”

* * *

  
It had been exactly 12 hours since you last had contact with Ben. And since that time, he had sent you several text messages, which you hadn’t yet opened. Now he was actually making the move to call you. You stared at the screen, letting it ring. If you answered, it would only mean trouble. You let it go to voicemail as you kept about going your business.

 

You had met your mother for a latte and pastries a few blocks from your apartment, and you figured it would be nice to get some air and stroll home. It had been on the cooler side in Brooklyn in the middle of May, grateful you were wearing some jeans and a long-sleeved denim top.

 

You really shouldn’t have been scrolling through Instagram while walking on the sidewalk. Then maybe you wouldn’t have bumped into the hulking mass that was Ben Solo. The instant you ran into the brick wall, you knew it was him before having to look up. His cologne was unique, and you could pick out his scent from anywhere. _Crap._ This was going to be awkward.

 

Unfortunately for you, he looked good. Real good. He had a grey t-shirt on, which was thin enough to show every layer of muscle he was packing underneath. He was wearing black jeans, black chucks, and his hair was stylishly messy and adorable. If you didn’t know any better, it looked like he had just woke up from a long nap.

 

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “But you shouldn’t really be on your phone while you’re walking on Brooklyn sidewalks.” He gestured to your phone in your hand.

 

“Thanks, I’ll write that down and save it for later,” you smiled sarcastically.

 

He bit his lip and looked at you awkwardly. It seemed like he wanted to say something, but he was holding it in.

 

“What are you doing here, Professor? Ben? Mr. Solo? I hope you’re not following me.”

 

He huffed. “Don’t be ridiculous. This is both our neighborhood. I’m actually on my way back from … an appointment.”

 

You nodded. “Got it. Okay, well it was nice ‘running into you’ Ben. Have a good day.”

 

He reached out and grabbed your arm by the elbow. “Wait.” You wanted to melt into his touch, but you didn’t want to show him you were too soft.

 

You looked up at him. God he was so tall, even with you wearing heels. “What?”

 

“You haven’t answered any of my texts or calls,” he said. He looked almost sad. “Did I do something wrong?” His puppy dog eyes were going to be the death of you.

 

You sighed. “No. No, you didn’t do anything. I .. I don’t know. I just think it’s best if we didn’t continue doing whatever we were doing. The semester is over with, anyway. You passed me. Thank you for that.”

 

“Did I ever leave you unsatisfied?”

 

“No. Quite the opposite, actually.”

 

“Then I don’t see the big deal in resuming our … relations … if you were enjoying yourself as much as I was.”

 

You sighed uncomfortably. For a brilliant Philosophy professor, he sure was dense. You really didn’t want to explain the fact that you were starting to catch feelings. That you wanted more. That you’d eventually need more. And that was obviously a road he wasn’t willing to go down. He was your professor for God’s sake. Ex-professor. He’d never make a former student a part of his future.

 

“Ben …” you started. He looked at you. The fact that you were calling him Ben didn’t seem to bother him. You very much liked not having to call him Professor Ren. It knocked him off his high horse and gave you more equal footing.

 

“You’re thinking too much about this,” he interrupted you before you could express your thoughts. You were grateful. You weren’t sure what you were going to say to him without outright admitting that you were crushing on him. That would just be insanely embarrassing.

 

He continued. “It’s the same thing as going to dinner with a friend, or watching a movie. Except, I make you feel a lot better. And at the end of the day, we both go home completely satisfied without having to answer to anyone else.”

 

You sighed. “You’re not getting it, Ben. Maybe I don’t want to be alone at the end of the day.” There. You said it without having to directly say it. Would he get it now?

 

He ran both his hands down the front of his face in frustration and put his hands on his hips. For a second, it looked like he was going to give up and just walk away, but quite the opposite happened. He leaned down, and he kissed you. He was definitely a great kisser. Of course Ben would be a great kisser. You felt his hand gently caress the side of your cheek, and you kept your eyes closed to relish in it. You had no idea if this was going to be the only kiss you’d be sharing with him.

 

He broke the kiss after a few seconds and stepped back, eyeing you wearily, making sure that it didn’t leave you upset.

 

You brought your fingertips up to your lips. Did that just happen?

 

He broke the silence. “Can you walk back to my place with me? There’s a lot about me I want to try and explain.”

 

You nodded. “Okay.”

 


	7. Deep Throat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben opens up about his issues, and he discovers one of your talents.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still sick and on a lot of medication. I had to re-read this like 10 times to make sure it made any sense. I hope you enjoy!

Spending the afternoon at Ben’s house was enlightening, to say the least. You learned that he’d never had a steady girlfriend before and that he’d been in therapy for a few years for several different issues. One, he had a fear of intimacy and closeness not just with women, but with everyone in his life, including his parents. He admitted he hadn’t spoken to his family in 12 years. That explained the lack of family photos around his home.

 

Two, he suffered from Intermittent Anger Disorder. The good thing about this is that his episodes were few and far between, and the last extremely violent episode he had was three months ago. You were sensitive to his issue and didn’t want to risk triggering an episode or any uncomfortable flashbacks, so you didn’t really follow up on the details of this particular disorder. Perhaps you’d read up on it later so you can better understand what he was dealing with.

 

“So after laying myself out like a beach towel, I’m surprised you’re still sitting here,” he said. You were sitting across from each other in his living room. He was leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. You were leaning back on his couch, legs crossed and your hands clasped in your lap.

 

“Nobody’s perfect, Ben,” you said. “We all have things we need to work on.”

 

“I suppose you’re right,” he said. “Some more than others. You know, I’ve never told anyone these things. Except for my therapist.”

 

You smiled. “I’m glad you felt like you can confide in me. What made you do it? Why me?”

 

He ran a hand through his hair and scratched his scalp at the same time. He was nervous. “I’m not sure. I feel comfortable around you, and I don’t want you to go away. I just felt it was fair that you should know what you’re getting into exactly.”  
  
You smiled again. “What exactly are _we_ getting into?”

 

He looked up at you and started cracking his knuckles in his lap.

 

“I’m not sure yet, but can we see where it goes?”

 

“I’d like that.” You got up and walked over to him and sat yourself across his lap. You gave him a gentle peck on his lips. You loved his lips. They were so soft and full. You couldn’t believe that all these years, he never wanted a woman to kiss them. That he got by with just meaningless one-night stands … no love … no one to care for but himself … and most importantly, no one taking care of him.

 

He kissed you back, opening his mouth and rolling his tongue around in a sensual dance with yours. He gripped your chin between his thumb and forefinger for better control and softly caught your bottom lip between his teeth before breaking away.

 

“Your lips are so sexy,” he whispered in a lazy drawl. “Did you know that all semester I pictured these lips around my cock? It broke my heart whenever you came in late and had to sit in the back of the class.”

 

Your heart fluttered.

 

“You noticed me in class?” you said, smirking against his mouth.

 

“Since day one,” he answered.

 

You thought for a minute. “Have you ever hooked up with one of your students? Besides me … obviously.” It was something you didn’t want to ask, and to be honest, you didn’t want to know the answer. But you asked it anyway.

 

He started to answer, but you put a finger over his lips. You had changed your mind. If the answer was yes, it would have crushed you. “Actually, I don’t want to know, Ben. Don’t tell me.”

 

He went to say something again, but you shushed him and kissed him. He let out a soft groan and you ran your hand through his hair. You had a wicked idea. You pulled away from him and your hand went to palm the enormous bulge in his jeans. He caught your eyes.

 

“Professor,” you whispered in his ear. “I have a confession to make.”

 

“Mmmmm, what’s that?” he whispered into your neck. His breath was warm and tickled, and it sent an immediate tingle to your pussy.

 

“I also thought about something all semester.” You got off his lap and went to your knees in front of his lap. You undid the button of his jeans and pulled his zipper down and palmed his dick over his black boxer briefs. Grabbing his cock under his boxers, you could barely wrap your fingers around it. He moaned again. Sucking his huge dick was going to be a challenge, albeit pleasurable. You kissed the tip, licking your lips and tasting his precum.

 

“How are you real?” he whispered huskily, looking down at you as you started licking up and down his shaft.

 

You took him entirely in your mouth, causing him to moan loudly. “Fuck,” he whispered. He grasped your hair in his large hand to control your movements. He was in for a surprise because you had no gag reflex. You looked up at him to watch his face while you took his entire cock in your mouth, where your nostrils rested in his finely trimmed hairs at the base of his length.

 

His eyes rolled into the back of his head and you felt the pressure of his hand tighten as he grasped your hair. His left leg and foot bounced for a few moments uncontrollably. He looked down at you, seeing you were already staring into his eyes.

 

“Fuck ...” he could barely even speak. His eyes never left yours as you repeatedly took his cock fully into your mouth and sucked hard on the way up. You hardly broke eye contact. It was one of the most erotic blow jobs you’d ever given in your life.

 

You knew he was close when his breathing started to become more erratic and his hips started thrusting upwards. You felt the hand in your hair start to shake as he pressed gently on the back of your head to move your mouth deeper onto his cock. His breaths became short pants as he started to whimper. Shortly after, he let out a loud gasp and an expletive, and you felt his spend shooting into the back of your throat. He tasted like warmth and salt as you swallowed and cleaned off the entirety of his cock before pulling away.

 

When you looked up at him, his eyes were half closed and sweat was dripping down the sides of his face and down his neck. He was more out of breath than you were. He made no effort to tuck his dick back into his pants.

 

You kissed him on the nose and smirked. “Good?” you asked. _Of course it was good._ You were trying not to show it, but damn it, you felt like you were Queen of the Nile!

 

He nodded, finally tucking himself away and bringing you in close to hold you.

 

“I think I love you,” he joked.

 

You giggled.

 

“Can I take you to dinner tonight?” he asked.

 

“A blowjob for a dinner?” you joked. “If that’s the case, I’ll come over everyday.”

 

You both laughed. You realized it was the first time you had seen him truly laugh other than a small chuckle or huff. You decided then and there that you loved his smile and would do everything in your power to make him smile as often as possible.

 

“How about dinner just because I want to be able to do something nice for you?” he replied.

 

“I’d love to go to dinner with you, Ben.”

 

“Wear a tight dress. I want to be able to see every curve of your body without having to use much of my imagination.”

 

* * *

 

Ben texted you later that evening to say he’d be at your place in less than 5 minutes. You were ready and felt it useless to sit on your couch like a potato, so you decided to go outside and wait for him on your sidewalk. But someone was already waiting for you outside. Tony. _Oh god._

 

“Shiiiiiit,” he said, dumbfounded. “You look … amazing.”

 

You smiled uncomfortably. “Hi Tony. Thanks.”

 

“Where are you going? Club? Ladies Night Out?” he asked.

 

“I’m going on a date. He’ll be here any minute now.” You were hoping he’d take the hint to leave. But knowing Tony, he never could take a hint!

 

“Oh, I see. I had dinner not too far from here and wanted to check in on you since you said you were sick yesterday. I’m glad you bounced back pretty quickly.” You sensed a little anger coming off of him.

 

“Yeah, I think it was a 24 hour bug kind of thing,” you said.

 

"Jesus, did you paint that thing on?" Tony reached out and put his hand on your ass, squeezing your ass and trying to pinch the fabric of your dress with his fingers.

 

"Tony, stop," you swatted his hand away. "What's the matter with you?"

 

You saw a black Audi SUV pull up to the curb and immediately heard a car door open and close from the driver’s side.

 

Ben was by your side almost instantly, placing a hand on your lower back as if to claim his territory.

 

“Ready baby?” he asked, looking at you and ignoring Tony.

 

“I’ll see you later, Tony,” you said uncomfortably.

 

Tony snorted and laughed obnoxiously. “Why did he pick you up if you’re neighbors?”

 

You looked back at him. “What?”

 

“Yesterday. You said he was your neighbor and that he was bringing you medicine.”

 

 _Oh crap._ You forgot about that white lie yesterday.

 

You felt Ben’s hand leave your lower back, and you glared in horror when you saw him storm over to Tony and do everything short of beating his chest like a territorial gorilla.

 

“I’m not her neighbor, but we _are_ fucking. And if you touch her again, you inadequate piece of shit, I'll kill you.”

 

“BEN!” you yelled.

 

The two men were glaring into each other’s eyes angrily. Tony had a bad temper too, so before anything could erupt, you grabbed Ben by the arm and pulled him away. It was hard to get him to move. He weighed a ton.

 

You mouthed to Tony … “Sorry!”

 

“Ben can we just go? I’m starving.”

 

He seemed to snap out of his episode and opened the passenger door for you, helping you into the SUV. He walked over to his side and peeled away from the curb, tires squealing.

 

“Jesus, Ben,” you snapped. “Why did you say that?”

 

“That kid is pissing me off,” he said. "He wants to fuck you,” he said irritably. "And you let him touch you."

 

“Ben, I didn't let him do anything.”

 

“I don’t want him within 100 feet of you.”

 

You stared at him and sighed, but then you noticed something.

 

“Ben! You shaved!” you reached out to touch his cheek. “Oh my god!”

 

He pressed his lips together. “I was wondering when you were going to notice.”

 

“You didn’t really give me a chance to look at you out there.” You kept running your hand over his smooth face. “You look so young, Ben. I love this.” You leaned over to kiss his cheek.

 

“Thanks,” he said.

 

“And I see you dressed exactly how I asked,” he smirked. “You … look beautiful. I can hardly breathe when I look at you.”

 

Before now, Ben had never said you were beautiful. You smiled, embracing the butterflies fluttering around in your stomach. Tony quickly became an afterthought.


	8. The Night is Still Young

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Smut smut smut is back! These two can't keep their hands off each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm jealous of my fictional characters. That's normal, right? ;)

Ben pulled up to the curb in front of your apartment after a successful dinner date. You noticed he kept the key in the ignition as he turned to you with a smirk.

 

“On any normal day, I’d be begging you to take me upstairs, but I want to do this right,” he said.

 

You weren’t disappointed. In fact, you thought it was a sweet gesture. “Me too,” you smiled at him.

 

“But you didn’t exactly make it easy for me wearing that.” He pointed to your dress and rested a hand on your upper thigh.

 

“Oh I can’t be responsible for that,” you smirked. “I was just following orders.”

 

He leaned in for a kiss. You felt his hand reach for the end of your dress and start to slide the fabric up your leg. You squeezed your legs together and pulled away from the kiss.

 

“Ben,” you replied breathlessly. “If you go any further I’m not going to be able to stop.”

 

His hand froze and he rested his forehead against yours. “Okay,” he said. He sat up and adjusted himself over his pants. What you would give to just sit on his lap and rub yourself on him right now. But you had all the time in the world to do that. Your mother always used to say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. I guess that would apply to Ben’s cock, too.

 

“Call you tomorrow?” His eyebrows rose up. He looked so innocent.

 

You nodded and ran your hand over his clean shaven face again. “Goodnight Ben.”

 

“Goodnight beautiful,” he replied.

 

Ben didn’t pull away from the curb until you were safely inside. What a true gentleman. 

 

* * *

  
You had five texts when you got out of the shower. One from Ben, and four from Tony. You rolled your eyes when you saw Tony’s name and decided to give Ben’s text priority.  _ Obviously. _

 

**Ben** : For the first time in my life, I absolutely hated coming home and answering to no one.

 

_ Ohhh, your heart.  _ You smiled like an idiot, just staring at your phone. Oh why the hell not? You threw on a tiny pair of white cut-off shorts and a white tank top and threw on a tan duster jacket to conceal your figure from wandering eyes in the Brooklyn streets.

 

**You:** The night’s not over. 

 

His reply was almost instant.

 

**Ben:** I said it earlier. I think I love you.

 

That’s twice that he jokingly said he loved you today, and you totally didn’t mind. 

 

**You:** I’ll be over in 15 minutes.

 

**Ben:** Let me come pick you up. I don’t want you walking alone at night.

 

**You:** I do it all the time. I’ll be fine.

 

There was a few minutes of silence before he replied.

 

**Ben:** Door will be unlocked.

 

* * *

 

It felt weird opening Ben’s door without giving him some sort of head’s up, so you knocked twice before walking in. 

 

He had changed out of his suit and was wearing black jeans and a t-shirt.

  
“Hey.” You walked over to him and hugged him.

 

“You walked over in that?” he asked. “I hope you kept that jacket closed.”

 

“Oh stop,” you scolded him. “I’ve walked the streets of New York in a lot less.”   


 

“I was afraid you’d say that, and that’s not going to happen again,” he said. The look in his eyes showed that he was serious. All playfulness was gone.

 

You took his hands in yours. “My jacket was closed. I don’t want anyone to see me but you,” you looked up at him, feigning your best look of innocence.

 

He backed you into a wall and turned you to face it. He brushed your hair aside and you felt his lips and tongue on your neck. You slid off your duster jacket and threw it on the floor.

 

“I like you in these tiny little shorts,” he whispered. “Do you actually wear these in public?”

 

You nodded. “I do.”

 

He tutted into your neck and gripped your hips. “My oh my,” he started. “See, if I didn’t know any better, and I saw you walking around in these shorts, I would assume you’d be wanting to get fucked.”

 

He undid the front of your buttons, pulled your zipper down and shoved his hands into your panties. You bucked your hips.

 

“Do you wear these when you want to get fucked?”

 

You mewled, feeling his fingers slide down your slit and spread open your folds.

 

“Given how wet your pussy is right now, I’m going to take that as a yes.”

 

You arched your back into him, feeling his hard length on your back. “Please don’t stop,” you said breathlessly.

 

“I got you,” he whispered. You felt his deep, timber voice vibrate all the way down to your cunt.

 

He parted your folds and inserted one of his fingers inside of you. He expertly worked his digit in and out of your pussy, rubbing himself on your lower back to match his thrusts. He inserted a second finger and kept his thumb on your clit. You braced your palms flat against the wall to steady yourself.

 

“This is a tight little cunt,” he said huskily. “I’m going to come inside of it tonight.”

 

That was so hot. You felt yourself losing control, and you brought your hand down on top of his to try and push him deeper inside of you. “Fuck Ben,” you cried out.

 

“Thaaaat’s it,” he encouraged. “Come all over my fingers like a good girl.”

 

You rode his hand until every bit of pleasure left your body. He withdrew his fingers from your pussy and brought them to his lips, sucking off your arousal.

 

Turning around slowly, you put your hands on his shoulders and kissed him. You could taste yourself on his lips. It felt so good knowing that all he could taste right now was your pussy. You wrapped your legs around his waist, and he led you upstairs to his bedroom. Just like the rest of his home, it was pristine.

 

He dropped you gently on the edge of the bed and immediately pulled your shorts and panties off. 

 

“Take your top off,” he commanded. He quickly pulled his own shirt over his head and started undoing his jeans. He didn’t have any boxers on underneath.

 

He grabbed his cock and started stroking it slowly. “I want you on all fours.” His predatory gaze took you back to the first time you first fucked in his office.

 

“Right on the edge of the bed,” he motioned for you to come closer. “That’s it. Spread your legs, ass all the way in the air …. Arch your back. Thaaaat’s it,” he encouraged. “Now, down on your elbows. Mmmmmm. You look so good right now.”

 

He palmed one of the halves of your ass and spread you open. You heard a slapping sound as he kept touching himself. You felt his fingers graze over your slit and move up, stopping at your back entrance. You froze and looked back at him. You’ve never done  _ that _ before.

 

“I want to feel all of you,” he whispered.

  
You felt one of his fingers start to press inside, and you tensed up.

 

He chuckled. “Another night then. But I  _ will _ claim this ass.”

 

_ Oooh! Crisis averted. _

 

You looked back at him and give him your best look of seduction. “Yes, sir.”

 

“Good girl,” he said with a smile. He dragged the tip of his dick up and down your pussy, gathering your juices around your slit before he pressed inside of you. The both of you let out a gasp.

 

“Tell me how you want this pussy fucked tonight,” he commanded. He was moving in and out slowly, all the way to the hilt and drawing back to the last millimeter of his tip.

 

“I want it hard, baby,” you said, circling your hips and grinding back on his cock. “I want you to make me forget my name.”

 

“I was hoping you’d say that.” He grabbed on to your hips and barely withdrew himself completely before roughly snapping his hips to slide himself back in. You jumped at the forceful intrusion, feeling his length hitting you somewhere deep inside. Your cervix was going to hate you in the morning.

 

You felt both of his palms on either side of you on the bed before he began pounding into you. You grabbed fisfuls of his blankets and screamed in pleasure for what felt like forever. Okay, maybe it was about 10 minutes. 10 minutes of being pounded, and you were living for it. 

 

He reached between your legs to rub your clit.

 

“I’m close,” he barely managed to say.

 

You had no idea how he was managing to keep this brutal pace for so long. He was physically fit, but this would have tired out anyone.

 

You put your finger on top of his and rubbed your clit together.

 

“I’m real close, baby,” you whimpered.

 

“I’ll come when you come.”

 

Moments later, you felt your pussy contracting around his girth. “I’m coming baby. I’m coming.”

 

“I can feel it,” he panted, ramming into you harder before pumping his seed deep inside of you. His hands felt like they were bruising your hips as he tried pulling you as far back on his cock as possible, his thrusts becoming uneven jerks. “Fuck fuck fuck,” he groaned.

 

You knew he was finished when his grip on your hips let up. He eased himself out of you slowly and you turned around to sit on your bottom. 

 

He was leaning forward with his hands on his knees, catching his breath.

 

“Come lay with me,” you patted the bed beside you. “After that performance I don’t know how you’re still standing.”

 

He fell to the bed beside you while he tried to regain his breath. You watched his chest rise and fall as you traced your fingers down his abdomen and over his rippled muscles. It was like Ben was carved out of marble. You felt a little bit of his spend drip out of your pussy and thought again about the fact that you weren’t on birth control, and that this was the fourth time that Ben came inside of you.

 

“Ben, I hate to be a buzzkill, but if we’re going to continue to do this I need to get on some birth control. This is too risky.”

 

He turned to you, his forehead was shiny with droplets of sweat.

 

“Okay, that’s fine. Just make an appointment this week.” He seemed nonchalant about it.

 

“Well, it will take about 7 days before the pills are effective. So you’re going to have to get condoms until then.”

 

He huffed. “It’s only seven days,” he said. “People try to have babies for months … years before they’re even successful.”

 

“Yeah, and some people have babies after hooking up once!” you reminded him.

 

“That’s very rare,” he rebutted.

 

“Ben I’m serious.”

 

“I’m kidding. It’s fine. I’ll get some rubbers for a week, or maybe I can fuck you … “ he slapped your ass “back there.” 

 

“Maaaaaaybe,” you looked at him, your face turning a little red.

 

“You’ve honestly never done that before?” he asked you with genuine curiosity.

 

“Never,” you replied.

 

“Why’s that? Has anyone tried? Or were you dating amateurs?”

 

“Oh, they tried,” you said, thinking about those few times your previous hookups would try and be slick and line their dicks up against your backside instead of the hole you were expecting.

 

“And you shot them down?” he chuckled.

 

“All of them,” you said proudly..

 

He got up one one of his elbows and leaned over you to kiss you, avoiding putting his full weight on top of you. 

 

“I want to tell you something,” he whispered.

 

“Okay,” you replied. 

 

“I know you tried to shut me up earlier, but I want you to know. I never did anything with other students,” he confessed. “Just you.”

  
  
  



	9. Who are you really?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone makes a wrong move that leads to a falling out. Poor Ben. Poor you!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to get this out yesterday, but I was diagnosed with strep throat. I'll be in recovery mode for the next few days, but I hope to get some writing in during that time. <3

You ended up waking in the early hours of the morning because of burning heat. No, you weren’t running a fever. You were trapped in a boiling cocoon that was Ben Solo. Jesus, it’s like he had the body temperature of a furnace. He had his leg and arm draped protectively over you. His warm, shallow breaths were tickling your ear. You would lay there and listen to the soothing sounds all night long if you weren’t so hot. Who would have though Ben was a cuddler? You wondered when the last time he cuddled was. Or if he even cuddled at all?

 

Slowly and methodically, you slid his leg and arm off of you. Success! Ben stirred a tiny bit, but you managed to not wake him. You leaned over him and gently kissed his forehead, his nose and then his soft lips. He smirked in his sleep, and you smiled. He looked like such an angel when he was asleep. Quite the opposite of the man who forcefully took you from behind last night. You closed your eyes, recalling the images of the night before. Ben’s enormous body in back of yours. His powerful thrusts. His hands on your hips. His sexy voice, moaning in pleasure above you.

 

You gave a long stretch of your limbs, the sheet falling from your naked body. You reached for your iPhone on the nightstand and saw that it was 4:13 am. Your phone indicated to you that you still had 4 unread texts from Tony. You forgot about them last night. You were quite preoccupied. You decided to open them now.

 

 **Tony:** I don’t want to get too much in your personal business at all, but I recognized that guy you were with as a professor on campus.

 

 **Tony:** Is that how you guys met? If so, I’d be careful. He’s rather well-known with a lot of his female students at NYU.

 

 **Tony:** I know this because that girl Evelyn on my floor was one of his “girls.” You can talk to her if you don’t believe me.

 

 **Tony:** I care a lot about you, and I don’t want to see you get hurt. I’ll drop by tomorrow. Goodnight.

 

_What. The. Fuck._

 

You read and re-read the texts over and over. The air left your lungs and you felt your eyes start to brim with tears. You wanted so badly for this not to be true, but you knew that girl Evelyn. Well, you weren’t best friends, but you’ve met her several times when you visited Tony at his apartment. She was nice ... smart … attractive of course. If Tony was lying, he wouldn’t have given you a specific name, right?

 

You were such an idiot. You wondered how many other students Ben had told his sob story to just so he can continue to get free pussy. He probably didn’t even have a therapist. You ate it all up like a fool.

 

And you weren’t even upset at the fact that he did this multiple times with other students. You actually had expected him to tell you that you weren’t his first earlier today. That’s why you stopped him from speaking. You were mad at the fact that he lied. He genuinely lied to your face. He made you feel so special, telling you in that moment last night that it was “just you.” _Ugh._ Why couldn’t he have just been honest with you?

 

You attempted to get out of the bed but you felt a heavy arm wrap around your waist and drag you back to his body. He buried his face in your hair. “Don’t get up,” he whispered sleepily. He smelled of warmth and shampoo.

 

You had to stay focused. Ben wasn’t a good man. You were angry. All you wanted to do was get out of this house and away from him. You didn’t want to embarrass yourself any more than you already have by smiling like a bumbling idiot whenever he told you sweet lies. “Ben let me go,” you said sternly.

 

He didn’t. His grip got tighter around your waist. “Never” he whispered, kissing your neck.

 

“Let … GO,” you managed to wriggle out of his arms. He was so strong. You had no idea how you were able to do that.

 

You slid off the bed and grabbed your panties and shorts and started to get dressed. Ben sat up, rubbing his eyes. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

 

You ignored him, grabbing your phone. Where was your duster jacket? Oh that’s right. It’s still downstairs. Ben got out of bed and grabbed a pair of sweatpants out of one of his drawers. He was rushing to pull them on, hopping on one leg after almost tripping on a pant leg. He looked pathetic. _Good._

 

You rushed out of the room and ran downstairs and found your jacket, moving swiftly to the front door. You got it open a few inches before a big hand reached above your head and slammed it shut. You turned around to face him.

 

“Open .. the door,” you said through gritted teeth.

 

“No. Not until you tell me what’s wrong,” he pleaded. “Did I do something?”

 

You stared at him and shook your head slightly. “You’re a liar.”

 

His brows furrowed and his head drew back in surprise. “What are you talking about?”

 

“You lied to me.”

 

“When?” His hand was still braced against the door above your head.

 

You groaned in frustration. “I’m not an idiot, Ben. Just open the door and let me out.” You turned around and jiggled and pulled on the knob, but the door wasn’t budging.

 

“Why are you all of a sudden mad? You were fine last night. What changed?”

 

You tightened your grasp on your iPhone and crossed your arms protectively in front of you.

 

There was a pause for a few moments, and you saw him glance down at your cell phone. He was too quick. You felt him grab your phone out of your hand and tear it away.

 

“What the fuck? What are you doing?” you yelled. You reached for it, but he was too big for you to maneuver around.

 

“It’s locked,” he said, holding it up above you so you couldn’t reach. He turned his back to you to further cut you off. “What’s the pin?”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

“What’s the fucking pin?” he yelled.

 

Was this the temper he had warned you about? You knew he wasn’t going to hurt you physically but you didn’t like seeing this side of Ben at all. When he came to the conclusion that you weren’t going to tell him his pin, he punched his door repeatedly with your cell phone in hand, right above your head. You screamed.

 

He opened his bloody hand, pieces of your shattered iPhone dropping onto the hardwood floor.

 

You glared at him, shaking your head. “Wow. You’re an asshole,” your voice was barely a whisper.

 

His hand wasn’t keeping the door shut anymore. Now was your chance. You opened the front door and stepped out. It was still dark, reminding you how early in the morning it still was. You had wondered if your fighting had woken any of the neighbors.

 

“Careful walking home. You don’t want anyone mistaking you for a hooker.”

 

You turned around to face him. He was standing in the doorway, huffing and puffing. His hair was wild, but his eyes told a different story. Somehow, he still look confused, and well … hurt. But he had no right to be hurt. He lied to you. He used you. He manipulated you.

 

Before you could even think, you slapped him across the face. He turned his face from yours, his hair falling into his eyes. Clearly, he wasn’t expecting you to do that. But how dare him.

  
“I don’t _ever_ want to talk to you again,” you said. He was still avoiding your gaze when you walked down his front steps and into the night.

 

* * *

 

What. The fuck. Was that?

 

Was she suffering from bipolar disorder? You had never witnessed anyone go from hot to cold that quickly. Something happened after you fell asleep together. If only you were able to get into her phone. You were certain that whatever it was that caused her to freak out like that, it had to have been from a phone call or text.

 

Your mind wandered to that piece of shit you saw grabbing her ass before dinner last night. What was his name? Tony? You wouldn’t put it past him. You knew exactly how guys like him operated. “FUCK,” you screamed out loud, kicking over a foot stool.

 

You glanced at what was left of her phone on the floor. Your heart sunk when you realized you could call and text her as many times as you wanted, but she’d never get your messages. Not that she’d want to talk to you. You royally screwed it up. Why did you have to smash her phone and insult her by basically calling her a hooker? That was unforgivable. You had to call Karissa. This was exactly why you only spent one night with women. This is exactly why you didn’t do relationships.

 

* * *

 

Your new iPhone was finally delivered, but you were grateful to be without it these last few days. You didn’t want to talk to anyone, and you needed some time to decompress. You hadn’t spoken to anyone since your fallout with Ben. Not even Tony, but you figured you’d have to come out from under your rock at some point.

 

You groaned when you turned your phone on and saw the abundance of missed calls and texts. Surprisingly, there was only one message from Ben, and it came in the form of a text message.

 

 **Ben:** I know you probably won’t see this until you get a new phone. Can we talk? I’m sorry for everything I did. I’m going to London to teach a workshop for two weeks. I leave on Friday. Please let’s talk before I leave and figure this out. I need a chance to make things right.

 

 _Oops._ It was now Saturday. You deleted the message. It pained you a little bit, but it also felt empowering. You didn’t want Ben to have any more power over you.

 

The rest of your messages were from your mother, your friends, and a bunch from Tony. You weren’t looking forward to talking to him any time soon. Was he going to tell anyone your secret affair with your Professor? Was he going to gloat? Either way, you had to reach out for him because you wanted to hear personally from his hallmate Evelyn about Ben’s questionable habits with other female students.


	10. The Truth Shall Set You Free

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone was lying, and someone was telling the truth. We've got a major steamy makeup session after this chapter!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little longer than I intended, but I was in the zone. *sips more coffee like a fiend* Enjoy! <3

“Go ahead and have a seat on the couch. Evelyn will be back in about 20 minutes. She’s making a quick Starbucks run,” Tony said.

 

You nodded and wandered over to the couch.

 

“I’m sorry about that. She told me she was going to be here all afternoon.”

 

“Don’t worry about it,” you shook your head.

 

“So … how are you doing? It seems like my texts were somewhat of a surprise,” he said.

 

“Well, yes and no,” you said hesitantly. “But I’m fine. I just want to talk to Evelyn and get the whole story.”

 

“Gotcha,” he nodded. “She should be back any minute. For what it’s worth, I think you need to stay as far away from that guy as possible. He seems like a dick.” Tony took a long draw from a carton of Orange Juice.  _ Gross.  _ He was one of those people who drank straight from the carton.

 

“Yeah,” you muttered, not wanting to talk about any more details of what you and Ben did.

 

You continued. “Tony, you’re not going to tell anyone about this, right? I can trust you? I just don’t want to get Ben … uh, Professor Ren fired.”

 

“That guy should be fired,” he said.

 

“Tony, please don’t …”

 

“I’m not going to say anything,” he interrupted. “How did this all start, by the way? Did he threaten you? Intimidate you? Threaten to lower your grade or something?”

  
You blanched. Little did Tony know it was nothing like that at all. You were the one that initiated things. All for a stupid grade change. This never would have happened if you would have just paid better attention in his class. You wouldn’t have become attached to a dark yet sexy man of mystery. And you certainly wouldn’t be sitting on Tony’s couch with him trying to get sex details out of you with a former Professor at NYU.

 

Tony tried pressing you a bit more for details about Ben, but you wouldn’t budge. Things started to get a little more uncomfortable when he moved to sit beside you on the couch, wrapping his arm around the top of the cushion, then eventually around your shoulders. Your thighs were touching. It was definitely awkward. 

 

“I don’t know how you pull it off, but even in jeans and a t-shirt you look completely sexy,” Tony said out of left field. He was so brazen. You wished so badly he could just respect the fact that you were friends and that you obviously didn’t want to take things any further. “And you still keep those sexy heels on. I love you in ‘come fuck me’ heels,” Tony continued.

 

“You flatter me too much, Tony,” you tried to play it off like he was just trying to be kind and that his flattery didn’t do anything to excite you.

 

You glanced at your cell phone and noticed that you had been talking with Tony for more than an hour.

 

“Tony, is Evelyn back yet?” 

 

“Ohhh shit. Yeah, I forgot. Let me send her a text.” He took his arm off your shoulder to tap on his phone. You waited a few moments.

 

“Hmm, she didn’t reply. Maybe she forgot or ran into someone. I’m sorry, y/n.”

 

“It’s fine,” you stood up and grabbed your purse. “Look, just text me later. I can come by another time. I just had a few questions. Just tell her it won’t take more than 10 minutes of her time.”

 

“Yeah, sure. No problem.” He leaned over to hug you and kiss your cheek. His lips lingered a little too long on your skin. You put your hands against his chest and pulled back, a little more forcefully than you usually do.

 

“Talk to you later, Tony.”

 

“Bye gorgeous,” he said.

 

* * *

  
  


Tony only lived a couple of blocks away, so you opted to walk instead of grab an Uber. It was past dinnertime, so you figured you can stop at your favorite hole-in-the-wall Chinese restaurant on the way back to your apartment for some beef fried rice and cream cheese wontons. Definitely not good for your figure, but there were just certain times that called for junk food. 

 

You chose your favorite table and placed your order with the server who gave you her usual smile. She knew exactly who you were.

 

Pulling out your phone, you decided to google Professor Ren while they were preparing your food. If you were to be honest with yourself, you just wanted to see his face. Sure, he did you dirty, but he was still nice to look at.

 

You gasped when the first thing you pulled up was a recent news article about the kickoff of the European Society for Analytic Philosophy’s summer workshops. And right next to several other educators, there he was! Professor Ren … your Ben, standing in a fine suit. Gosh, why did he have to be so beautiful? He stuck out like a sore thumb. About 75% of these scholars were old and grey. He still looked like a baby, even with his stubble growing back. You ran your finger over his photos.  _ Why are you such a dick, Ben? Why couldn’t you just be normal? _

 

There were a series of several photos of him which looked like he was lecturing on some sort of stage. Not one of those pictures had him smiling. You remember the big smile you managed to work out of him not that long ago. It was a shame he didn’t do it more often. His eyes in the photos looked … sad. You wondered if he was sad about your situation. As guilty as you felt about that, you kind of hoped that was it. It would mean that he felt something for you. Even if it were small.

 

You jumped when a plate was placed on your table. “Food’s ready,” your server said with a smile.

 

“Thank you very much. This looks amazing.”

 

You immediately dug into your cream cheese wontons while scrolling through the article. A text message notification popped up, overlapping the copy you were reading in the article. It was a message from Ben. What a coincidence. It felt like your heart stopped the second you saw his name. You immediately put down your half-eaten cream cheese wonton.

 

**Ben:** Are you still ignoring me? Or are you still without a phone? I guess if the answer is yes to either of those, I won’t get a reply.

 

Staring at his message, you contemplated responding. After a few minutes, you decided that you would.

 

**You:** Maybe.

 

**Ben:** I can work with maybe. By the way, I’m going to give you money for a new phone. I didn’t mean to wreck it. I lost my temper. I’m sorry.

 

Before you could respond, another text came in.

 

**Ben:** I’ll be back in town in a couple weeks. I’d like to see you. Please.

 

There he goes with please again.  _ Man. _

 

**You:** I’ll gladly accept money for my phone. As for talking, I’m not really sure how I feel about that.

 

It was the truth. You liked him. You hated him. You were obviously confused.

 

**Ben:** I never lied to you about anything. In fact, it feels like I told you … too much about myself. I’ve done the opposite of lie to you.

 

Hmm. He was still claiming his innocence. This was interesting. You felt like you should do some prodding to see how he’d respond.

 

**You:** Are you sure I was the only student you hooked up with?

 

That was blatant enough. 

 

**Ben:** That’s what I told you. Why would you think any different?

 

**You:** You didn’t lie?

 

**Ben:** NO! Who told you otherwise? Was it that dude who wants to get in your pants? Please use your brain and think about that for a second.

 

Hmm. Fair point, well made.

 

**You:** Don’t worry about it.

 

**Ben:** If someone is going around spreading things about me that aren’t true, I’m definitely going to be worried about it. Especially if that information is keeping me from you.

 

**You:** I’ll get to the bottom of it before you come back. Whatever I find out will determine if I ever want to speak to you again. 

 

**Ben:** Please don’t let anyone poison you against me. I never lied.

 

**You:** Okay, I have to go. Please be safe in London. I’ll be awaiting the money for my phone. 

 

You added a dollar emoji. He never responded.

 

Was Ben right? Was there something deeper in the works here? Tony was the one to break the news to you. He has clearly been crushing on you for as long as you can remember, and he has been extremely aggressive in pursuing you lately. Was he jealous of Ben? There was only one way to find out the truth. You had to talk to Evelyn alone and away from Tony. 

 

You were a great judge of character. Maybe that’s why you couldn’t imagine yourself completely walking away from Ben. There was something about him. Something that captured you. Your situation with Ben was completely a mess, yet somehow it felt more right than it was wrong.

 

You appetite was lost completely, so you asked for a to-go bag. It was almost 7:00 your time, and you realized it had to have been midnight in London where Ben was. You pictured him distraught, laying in a strange hotel bed, pondering over all the ways he can salvage your relationship. At least, that’s the situation you were hoping for.

 

Maybe he was texting 10 different girls at the same time? Telling all of them things they exactly wanted to hear to make them feel special. For some reason, you couldn’t picture that. 

 

You thoughts again turned back to Tony and the texts and his hallmate Evelyn who conveniently didn’t come back to her apartment after a supposed Starbucks run. Something wasn’t sitting well with you. You didn’t want to wait until tomorrow. In fact, you were going to bypass Tony completely and knock on Evelyn’s door right now.

 

* * *

  
  


You prayed to the high heavens you didn’t run into Tony inside his apartment building. You walked up to Evelyn’s apartment, hoping that it was the right door. You were 99% sure it was from the few times you’ve seen her coming and going.

 

You knocked lightly, putting your ear close to the door to listen for movement. You heard footsteps and stepped back. The door pulled open, and thank goodness it was Evelyn.

 

“Oh my god. Hi.” She gave you a hug and looked extremely surprised to see you. “Come in,” she said.

 

“Hi Evelyn,” you smiled. “I just wanted to try you again today. I know we missed each other earlier.”   
  
“Huh?” she asked. She looked confused.

 

“You went to Starbucks earlier, and I think you might have gotten tied up. It was fine. I got to catch up with Tony.”

 

“I didn’t go to Starbucks earlier,” Evelyn said, looking confused. “He said I went to Starbucks?”

 

You looked at her surprised.

 

“Yeah, he said you were going to talk to me about … about a certain Professor?” you had to tread lightly. You didn’t want to give anything away in case she truly didn’t know what you were talking about.

 

“When did he say that? I haven’t talked to Tony in forever,” Evelyn said.

 

You stood there in shock. 

 

“Wow,” was all you managed to get out. You gestured uncomfortably. 

 

“I’m sorry for bothering you. I think there was a misunderstanding. I’ll talk to Tony later. I’m sorry I bothered you.”

 

You turned quickly and ran out of her apartment. You heard Evelyn calling you, “Y/N, wait!” But all you wanted to do was get the hell out of there.

 

You should have known. It wasn’t Ben who was the liar. It was Tony. How could he? You walked furiously through the Brooklyn streets, thankful it was dark so no one could see the silent tears pouring down your face.

 

When you got back to your apartment, you threw your purse on the kitchen table and walked straight to your bedroom. Sprawling out on your bed, you decided to send Ben a text. You had to apologize. It was almost 8:30. It would be 1:30 where he was. At the risk of waking him up before one of his big lectures or workshops the next morning, you still sent it.

 

**You:** Ben?

 

You waited for 20 minutes. He never replied. 

 

Your tear-stained lids lulled you into a deep sleep, where you dreamt of Ben holding you in his arms the morning before Tony’s texts managed to ruin everything.


	11. Daddy's Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben's back! And he's so ready for his makeup sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I impressed myself. Didn't expect to crank this out tonight, but voila! Enjoy! And bring a change of panties with you!

You woke up to a vibration against your chest. You rolled onto your back with a groan, holding your iPhone above your face. The light made you flinch for just a moment and then your eyes went wide. It was a text from Ben. It was 3:32 a.m., which meant it had to have been 8:32 London time. You smiled when you realized he must have texted you the moment he woke up.

 

**Ben:** Yes?

 

You couldn’t reply fast enough. 

 

**You:** I’m sorry. I was wrong.

 

**Ben:** You believe me?

 

**You:** Yes. You didn’t deserve the way I treated you.

 

**Ben:** It was understandable. You thought I was lying to you.

 

**You:** I want to make it up to you.

 

**Ben:** Just be with me. That’s all I want.

 

**You:** I’ll be here when you come back.

 

**Ben:** I’m counting down already, love.

 

**You:** <3

 

**Ben:** <3

 

You smiled, tossing your phone on your bed with a thud. You didn’t want to wait over a week to see Ben, but you knew you’d wait forever if that’s what it took.

 

* * *

  
  


Those text messages were over a week ago, and you hadn’t wanted to bother Ben and keep distracting him while he was lecturing. Being in completely different time zones didn’t help your cause either. So you decided to wait. You knew he’d come to you when he was back in New York and when he was ready.

 

You had kept yourself occupied since then. You worked out, made sure your apartment was tidy, wrote in your journal, and met up with some friends. And you successfully managed to avoid Tony. He had sent you a barrage of texts and voicemails in the last week. You were surprised he didn’t show up at your door, to be honest. Most likely he figured out that you had talked to Evelyn on your own, and he was trying to save face. You deleted all of them without reading or listening. You never wanted to see or speak to him ever again. The only thing you were concerned about was the fact that Tony could spill the beans on your affair with Ben, which meant Ben could lose his job. Would he stoop that low? Sadly, you felt the answer was yes. 

 

You checked the time on your phone. It was 8:36. You were meeting your girlfriends at 9:30 at Guilt, so you decided to throw on your dress and start getting ready. The theme tonight was Leather & Lace, so you chose a white lacy dress that was sheer in all the right places. You wished you were wearing it for Ben. You stood sideways, examining your curves in the floor length mirror when you heard a knock at the door. You jumped.

 

Being a woman living alone, you hated when people knocked on your door unannounced. What if it was Tony? You stealthily walked across your living room to your door and looked out the peephole. 

 

It was Ben! He was in dark jeans and a dark grey long-sleeve shirt, standing there with his hands in his pockets. You swung the door open and reached up, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He was so tall, you had to stand on your tippy toes, even in heels. Noticing your strain, he leaned lower. You felt his lips kiss the top of your head.

 

“Ben, you’re back,” you said. The relief you felt was clear in your voice. “You’re early?” It wasn’t a question.

 

You separated from his embrace. His hand lingered on your waist. “I didn’t stay for closing sessions. Not a lot of people do. And I don’t need to sightsee. I’ve been there a ton of times,” he said.

 

He stepped back to take you in. “Jesus Christ,” he bit his lower lip and shook his head. His eyes roamed you from head to toe. “What are you wearing? Or what are you not wearing?” he said with a chuckle.

 

You spun around in a circle and struck a pose. “I was supposed to meet my friends tonight. Leather and Lace-themed party.” You shrugged.

 

“I’m glad I came home early. You can’t go out like that, love.” He leaned in for a kiss. It was full of fire. The thirst of not seeing each other for two weeks was real.

 

“Come inside,” you whispered.

 

You took him by the hand and led him to your bedroom. Once there, he walked you backward until the back of your thighs hit the bed. He got down on his knees and started lifting the bottom of your dress. Once the fabric reached the tops of your knees he started placing soft, gentle kisses on the insides of your thighs. You felt his fingers slide under the hem of your panties and pull them down. You lifted your feet to step out of them and he brought them to his face, inhaling deeply. He was making a show of this, and even though your cheeks turned pink at his shamelessness, it turned you on.

 

“I missed the smell of this cunt,” he whispered, stuffing your panties in his pocket. “I think I’ll save these for later, whenever I’m craving the smell of your pussy again.”

 

He placed a tender kiss on top of your mound and you felt his tongue lick a stripe from your entrance to your clit. You moaned, placing your hands on top of his head to steady yourself. “I just needed to taste you,” he said huskily. “But … want to be inside of you right now.”

 

You nodded. “I want you inside me, Ben.” You tugged on his thick locks. He stood up to full height and pulled his shirt over his head. His jeans and boxer briefs came off just as quickly. He grabbed the hem of your dress and instructed you to lift your arms over your head as he yanked your dress off of you.

 

You stood before each other completely naked, his dick jutting out hard and nearly poking your waist.

 

“Sit down and lie back … spread your legs. Keep your arms above your head,” he instructed while he slowly jerked himself off.

 

You did his bidding. You felt one of his fingers run the seam of your pussy. You were dripping wet, and his finger was sliding around easily. You felt two of his fingers spread your lips apart before grazing your clit again. You mewled when you felt one of his thick fingers slide inside you.

 

“Still so very tight,” he whispered, as he pumped his finger inside of you to the same speed he was pumping his cock. He added a second finger. You whimpered again.

 

“You haven’t had this dick in a few weeks,” he said. “Do you think your pussy is going to remember my cock?”

 

His hand left your pussy and trailed up your abdomen, between your breasts and clasped lightly around your throat. It felt so strange yet erotic.

 

“I’m ready,” you whispered, looking him in the eyes. You were bucking your hips, searching desperately for some friction since his hand was no longer stroking you. “Fuck me now,” you begged. “Please.”

 

His hand eased off your neck to lightly trace your nipples. He lowered himself down on his elbows and forearms on either side of your head. You felt his cock pressed against your heat as he shifted his hips so that his tip would catch your entrance. When he found his way in, he plunged into you. “FUCK,” you yelped.

 

“Goddamn, love,” he said, thrusting hard right away, wasting no time. “Your pussy is just sucking on my cock. You’re so fucking tight.”

 

As always, his size caught you off guard, and the way he was angled on top of you felt like his cock was super deep inside you. But you didn’t care. You needed more. You dug your heels into his lower back, helping him drive himself deeper.

 

“Ben … fuck,” you called out. “Feels so good.”

 

“I know, love. I know.” He cooed, as he continued snapping his hips.

 

You felt him pull out of you unexpectedly and felt his tongue on your pussy. “Ben oh my god,” you cried. You looked down between your legs to watch Ben pleasure you. His plush lips stopping to kiss your clit and pussy lips. His long, warm tongue sliding up and down your slit and flicking your clit. His prominent nose occasionally rubbing against your swollen pearl. All while jerking himself off. Ben was clearly enjoying feasting on your pussy.

 

He looked up and you made eye contact. His hair fell forward, partially covering his eyes as his tongue lapped at your cunt. Your breathing lost its steady pace and you cried out as your orgasm rocked through you. You bucked your hips up, one hand on the back of his head as you rubbed yourself on his face. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you chanted over and over until you came down.

 

He gently kissed your clit. “I want to clean all this come up with my tongue so bad, you have no idea. But right now I really want to go back to fucking your sloppy cunt.” He grabbed you by the ankles with each hand, holding your legs high and pulling them apart.

 

He entered you again, slowly this time, watching his cock move in and out, watching your pussy lips stretch to make room for his girth. He moaned as he watched. “You take it so well,” he said. “This is mine.”

 

“All yours,” you echoed.

 

“That’s right,” he said, starting to move faster, placing one of his hands on your inner thigh and the other on your slit. “I want you to come on this cock right now,” he ordered. “And when I feel this pretty little pussy suck hard on my cock, I’m going to come inside of you.”

 

You moaned. But you had to come back to reality for a moment. After your fight with Ben, you made no effort to get birth control. And once again, you happened to be in a predicament. Ben was fucking you raw.

 

“Don’t come ... inside me,” you begged, hoping not to kill the mood.

 

“Why?” he responded.

 

“I’m not ... on the … pill yet,” you managed to get out in between huffs.

 

“No?” he asked. He started pumping into you faster.

 

“Uh uh,” you replied.

 

His thumb was expertly working your clit, and you were almost at the end of your rope. You could tell he felt you were on edge.

 

“Come now,” he commanded.

 

You felt your pussy clench around his cock as you felt your warmth flood your body once again. You wrapped your legs around his hips, pulling him closer to you as he pounded it to you.

 

You felt his thrusts get spastic and lose their pace.

 

“Don’t come inside me, Ben,” you begged, still riding out the tail end of your orgasm.

 

He put most of his weight on top of you as he came. He was borderline crushing you, but it didn’t hurt. In fact, it felt comforting being so close to his naked body. Your heart sunk as you realized you could feel his warmth squirting inside of you, but instead of pushing him off of you, you wrapped your arms around his back and held him close.


	12. Oh, Baby!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We get some shocking news! And an old friend pops up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone enjoys this latest chapter! Angst incoming! 
> 
> P.S. I got bacterial laryngitis as a result of my strep throat, so I've been without a voice since Thursday. Therefore, writing and Netflix have been my only friends these last few days :)

You had been awake for several hours, long enough to take a shower and get ready for the day and start breakfast. Ben was still out cold in bed. You had assumed it was from the jet lag and the fact that he possibly hadn’t slept well when he was overseas.

 

You had decided to call your doctor’s office for a quick visit. You needed to get on birth control as soon as possible. Fortunately, there was an opening today at 11:30. 

 

With that squared away, you decided to start on breakfast. Hopefully the smell of eggs and bacon and toast would be enough to wake Ben. Sure enough, 15 minutes later he sauntered into the kitchen with his jeans on. He obviously had taken a quick shower. His hair was wet.

 

“Morning,” you said over your shoulder.

 

He came up behind you and wrapped his arms around you, planting kisses on the side of your neck.

 

“Morning, love. Breakfast? What did I do to deserve this?”

 

You laughed. “I figured you must have worked up an appetite after last night.”

 

“That I did,” he answered.

 

You handed him a plate with his food and he thanked you. You motioned for him to take it to the table.

  
“Coffee?” you asked.

 

“Por favor!”

 

You poured him a cup and brought over some cream and sugar.

 

“Oh, I don’t put any of that shit in my coffee,” he said, taking a sip.

 

“Black it is!” you teased, putting some creamer and sugar in your own cup.

 

He noticed you didn’t make a plate for yourself. “Aren’t you going to eat?” he asked.

 

“I’m okay. I wasn’t really feeling that good this morning. Just going to stick with this,” you said, taking another sip of your brew.

 

“Well, this is delicious. I don’t remember the last time I had a home-cooked breakfast, or meal for that matter.”

 

“Really? Your kitchen is to die for. I’d be cooking in there all the time!”

 

He chuckled. “I don’t have the patience to cook. I’ll usually go to a cafe for breakfast. The most I’ll make at home is coffee or popcorn.”

 

“What a waste,” you teased. “I’d be cooking all day.”

 

“You like to cook?” he asked with genuine interest.

  
“I love it. It’s very relaxing.”   
  
“Are you any good?” he teased.

 

You punched him softly in the upper arm and he feigned injury, smiling after.

 

“I’d like to think so! I’m not a pro or anything, but I can follow a cookbook.”

 

He nodded. “Cook for me tonight?”

 

You beamed. “I’d love to! What do you want me to make?”

 

He smiled. “Surprise me.”

 

“Okay. Hmm … well is there anything you absolutely hate?”

 

“Nope. I’ll eat everything.”

 

You giggled. He was a big guy. Of course he ate everything.

 

“Okay, I’ll go to the store after my appointment and pick up some things for tonight.”

 

He perked up, eyebrows raising. “Appointment for what?”

 

“Doctor’s appointment. I’m going to ask for birth control. I didn’t have a chance to do that these last few weeks. I didn’t think I would need it anymore.” Your face turned red and you looked down at your coffee, thinking back to the pathetic argument that set everything in motion.

 

You felt his fingers under your chin and lift your face. “Hey,” his thumb traced over your bottom lip. “It’s okay.”

 

You kissed his thumb and nodded. “I want to forget it.”

 

“How did that even come about? What exactly happened?” He put his fork down, ready to hear the reveal.

 

“I just want to forget it, Ben,” you said. “I’m never going to talk to him ever again.”

 

“Him,” he repeated, anger in his eyes. “Tony. That guy who has been trying to fuck you since who knows how long? That ‘him’?”

 

You looked down. “I’m never going to talk to him ever again. Okay? Let’s just leave it.”

 

“Fine. But he better pray he doesn’t run into me.”

 

You shuddered. You prayed for that, too. You had no idea what Ben was capable of when he was extremely angry.

 

* * *

  
  
  


“Have you ever been on birth control before?” Dr. Joshi asked.

 

“Never,” you replied. “I’ve never really been in a steady sexual relationship before. Just sometimes, one offs here and there,” you said with a blush.

 

“I understand,” she said. “When was your last period?”

 

“Ummm,” you thought. “Hmmmm.” Your heart sank. You couldn’t recall. In fact, it feels like it had been longer than usual since you’ve last had it.

 

“I don’t remember,” you said. “But I think it has been over a month,” you admitted.  _ Shit. _

 

“Okay, no problem. Let’s take a pregnancy test before I get you a prescription. We can never be too sure!”

 

She walked over to the counter and grabbed a plastic cup. “Okay, the restroom is just outside this door, second door to the left. Bring it back when you’re finished and we’ll get it tested quickly. Sound good?”

 

“Yeah … yes. Sounds good,” you responded. You were in a daze, still trying to recall your last period. You couldn’t. But you took the cup anyway, found the restroom, and did your business.

 

The wait for the test to be conducted was torture. But thankfully, you didn’t have to wait long.

 

Dr. Joshi came back in with your chart and her clipboard. “Well, y/n, no birth control for you today! Congratulations. You’re pregnant!”

 

* * *

  
  
  


You chose to walk back to your apartment instead of take an Uber. You needed the air and the extra time alone to think about your situation.

 

After Dr. Joshi broke the news that you were pregnant, you cried. It was the most overwhelming news you had ever received in your life. So many thoughts were swirling in your head. 

 

_ This explains the morning sickness. You were too young to be a mother. You were in your final year of college. You and Ben were still in the very early stages of a relationship. Did Ben even want a child? What would your mother think? This pregnancy could get Ben in a lot of trouble. Should … you keep it? _

 

Maybe you didn’t have to tell Ben. Maybe you can go to a clinic and … Oh God no. What were you thinking? You would never be able to do something like that!

 

Maybe you can break up with Ben and he would never know it was his. That way, you wouldn’t put his career in jeopardy, and he wouldn’t have the burden of becoming a father. He obviously had commitment issues, and this wasn’t going to help things.

 

Your cell phone buzzed and you grabbed it out of your purse.  _ Shit. _ It was Ben.

 

“Ben, hi.”

 

“Hi love. How did your appointment go? Got your pills?”

 

You laughed uncomfortably and tried to dodge the question.

 

“I’m going to the market in a bit to pick up some supplies for dinner,” you said.

 

“Okay, let me come with you. The least I can do is pay for the ingredients if you’re going to cook for me.”

 

“No, that’s okay. I don’t mind.”

 

“Well, I’ll come pick you up. I don’t want you to walk in the dark. And I don’t trust what you’re going to be wearing,” he laughed, a snarky huff that sounded like air was blowing out of his nose.

 

“What on earth did I ever do without you Ben?” you said sarcastically.

 

He chuckled. “Now that we’ve established you’re getting a ride, can you please wear a dress? A skirt? Anything like that? And no panties?”

 

You sighed, but not loud enough for him to hear. You were still in full on panic attack mode because you were currently pregnant with Ben’s child. There was no way you could even think about sex right now. But of course you couldn’t tell him that.

 

“Of course,” you said flatly.

 

“Good girl. I’ll come by around 6:30? That work?”

 

“That’s perfect. I’ll see you soon.”

 

“Bye, love.”

 

* * *

 

You were only a few weeks pregnant, but you were still standing in front of the mirror scrutinizing your belly. Everything looked the same. No bump. You felt the same. No indication that there was a life growing inside of you.  _ Holy shit. _ A baby Ben was growing inside of you. How were you going to tell Ben? Would he be angry? Would he run off and never talk to you again? Would he be … happy?

 

You sighed, throwing on a white crop top and skin tight pencil skirt. You didn’t put on any panties, per Ben’s request. You were hoping you could get through tonight without Ben sensing that something was wrong. It was time for your best Poker face.

 

You had just finished doing your hair when there was a knock on the door. You had expected Ben to wait at the curb for you; not come upstairs and knock.

 

You didn’t even look through the peephole when you opened the door. The man who stood before you wasn’t Ben.

 

“Tony,” you gasped in surprise.

 

“Hey you,” .. he began.

 

You didn’t let him continue. “Tony, you’re a liar. I don’t know what you’re trying to pull but please don’t talk to me ever again.” You went to slam the door but he was already shoving his arm inside. He used his body to open the door the rest of the way to come inside of your apartment.

 

“What are you doing? Get out!” you yelled.

 

“Not until you let me explain,” he said.

 

“I don’t want to hear it,” you said through gritted teeth. You put both hands on his chest and pushed hard, but he didn’t really stumble back too far. “Get out of my house. Now!” you yelled.

 

“Just listen!” he yelled. He turned you around quickly, grabbing both of your wrists. Your back was against his chest. You struggled as hard as you could, but the only thing you could move was your feet. You went to stop on his toes, but he was too quick and lifted you up. Your feet were dangling and kicking in front of you … you just couldn’t make impact with Tony, and you couldn’t find a way to break free.

 

You screamed at the top of your lungs.

  
“Shut up,” he hissed. He threw you to the ground, straddling your hips so you couldn’t break free. The impact with the floor knocked the wind out of you, dazing you for a few good seconds. While you were trying to regain your breath, Tony pinned your arms above your head at the wrists by one of his hands. His free hand stroked the side of your face. Tears began to form in your eyes, and you felt one of them stream down your cheek.

 

“Why do you have to be so fucking difficult,” he said. “All I wanted to do was explain. Evelyn has wanted me for a very long time, and she wanted to make me look like a liar. Okay?”

 

You didn’t believe it for a second. Tony was a first class liar.

 

“I’ve been so good to you for so long. Haven’t I been a good friend to you?”

 

“Fuck you,” you spat. You wanted him off of your hips. His weight was awfully close to your lower abdomen. You didn’t want him to cause any harm to your unborn child, even though he was only the size of a pinhead.

 

“Good idea,” he grinned. His hand went from stroking your cheek, and slid all the way down to the top of your cleavage. You tried to struggle some more, kicking your feet frantically and squirming your hips. When it was clear he wasn’t going to budge, you screamed again.

 

His hand clasped over your mouth aggressively. He brought his face down real close to yours. “I think it’s time I take what I’ve been wanting for years,” he whispered. You felt his hand rub up your leg and cup your bare pussy. You screamed into his hand, praying to God that Ben would realize that something was wrong when you didn’t meet him outside at 6:30 ... that he would come upstairs and knock on your door and save you.


	13. Close Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony has you where he wants you. Will Ben come and save the day, or will Tony get what he's been wanting for a very long time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sunday night goodies! Come and get them. Or, Monday morning goodies. Depending on where you're from ;)

Your body kicked into fight or flight mode. You willed every inch of your body to move and flail … anything to get Tony off of you. He must have been annoyed with your fighting back because before you knew it, he was holding a switchblade up to your neck. Where the fuck was he keeping that?

 

“Don’t fight me,” Tony said through gritted teeth. “It’s not worth it. I’m going to take what I want anyway.”

 

You ceased all movement, giving in to his demand. You tried to think back to all the times you went to those free women’s self defense classes on campus. All of those tips and tricks seemed fruitless now. Tony was just too overpowering. You had to come up with something else. What if you pretended you wanted him? Would he trust you? Ease off enough to where you could separate yourself from him and make a run for it? It’s better than doing nothing and letting this attack happen anyway. You had to try.

 

You took a deep breath. “Okay, I give up Tony,” you said. “I give up.”

 

He cocked his head to the side in confusion, but he didn’t say anything.

 

You repeated yourself. “I give up. I’m not going to fight you. I also wanted you for a long time, but I’ve just been lying to myself. I didn’t want to ruin our friendship. We had something truly special, as friends. But now that I can see you felt the same way, I think it’s going to be okay now.”

 

You tried to give a very genuine smile, and you felt his hand ease up on your wrists. You wiggled one of your hands free and cupped his cheek and whispered, “Take me, Tony. But not here on the floor. Please. I want our first time to be special.”

 

His look was suspicious, but fortunately for you, he was thinking more with his dick than his brain. He bit his bottom lip. His dirty thoughts were so blatant that you could practically see his disgusting gears turning. “Are you sure?” He looked both hopeful and doubtful at the same time.

 

You nodded, continuing to run your fingers over his cheek. “Yes. I’m sure.”

 

He threw you over his shoulder and carried you to the bedroom. Your abdomen was against his hard shoulder, and again you worried for your unborn child. You tried to brace your weight with your hands on his shoulder but with little success. You yelped as he tossed you onto the bed and tossed his switchblade on your nightstand.

 

He started taking off his shirt. “Wait!” you yelled frantically.

 

“What?” He brought his shirt back down. His impatience was clear.

 

You had no idea what to say. You just wanted to stall him. You had to come up with something, and quick. “I … I have to pee,” you said.

 

He huffed. “Okay, but you’re not going in their alone. I need to stand in the doorway. I don’t want you locking me out or coming up with any funny ideas.”

 

You glared at him. “Are you serious? I am NOT going to go with you watching me!”

 

“In a few minutes, I’m about to see you completely naked and shove my dick inside of you. If you’re lucky, I might take your ass, too. I hardly think watching you take a piss is a big deal.”

 

You wanted to punch that cocky grin off his face. Damnit. You needed to try another plan then. “Fine, I’ll just hold it,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest. “But can we have some wine first. I’m a little nervous.” You gave him another fake smile, hoping to reassure him in case he had any doubts about your intentions.

 

He shook his head. “No. I’ve waited too long for this.”

 

_ Fuck. NO!  _

 

“Tony, I was hoping we can make this special … with this being our first time and all.”

 

He narrowed his eyes. “Take off your clothes for me. Strip. Stop wasting time,” he ordered.

 

You sat on the bed defiantly. You were all out of options. “Tony, no. Please don’t do this,” you pleaded.

 

He grabbed his switchblade from the nightstand, no doubt to intimidate you and force you to obey. “Take them off, or I’ll cut them off,” he said. He was eerily calm now, like he had one mission and nothing else mattered.

 

Silent tears were streaming down your face. You slowly slid off the white top you were wearing, trying to keep your hands over your breasts to protect your modesty. Not that it even mattered at this point. Things were about to get much, much worse.  _ Ben, where are you? _

 

“Take your hands away,” he ordered, brandishing the blade. “Stop covering yourself. Let me see those tits.”

 

You slowly moved your hands down to your sides. You kept your eyes down, staring at the stitching of your comforter. You couldn’t look him in the eye. This was too humiliating and violating, and you didn’t need to see him ogling your lady parts.

 

“Now your skirt. Off.”

 

Your eyes were still downcast. You whispered, “I can’t.”

 

“I gave you the chance to do this the easy way,” he said. He stalked toward you and aggressively ran his blade from the bottom of your skirt all the way up to your waistband. You screamed as he manhandled you. All you could hear was the thin fabric shredding as he dragged the knife, realizing the fabric preserving the last of your dignity was completely gone. Now here you were, completely naked before Tony. You were shell shocked. You always knew Tony was somewhat of a pig, but you never would have imagined he would have gone to these lengths to take what he wanted. You wondered if he had done this with other women.

 

Tony stepped back. “You have no idea how many times I pictured you naked, laid out for me like this. I rubbed my cock raw for years thinking about you. You look even better than what I pictured, and I have an extremely dirty imagination.”

 

You wept silently, still staring at your comforter. 

 

“Look at me,” he said. “This is going to be extremely hot if you keep crying like that.”

 

Slowly, your eyes met his. Tony was sick. Absolutely sick. There was no soul or emotion in his dead eyes. 

 

“I hate you,” you whispered.

 

You saw his eyes enlarge and his body get shoved forward by something. Someone had tackled him forward to the ground. Ben! Thank God, Ben! You grabbed your bedsheet and wrapped it around you while the two men struggled on your bedroom floor.

 

You screamed, listening to their grunts and the sounds of fists on flesh and bone. The fear rose inside of you when you realized Tony had a switchblade and Ben was likely unarmed. And Ben probably had no idea Tony had a weapon. How were you going to get them to stop? You didn’t want Ben to get hurt. 

 

Both men were big and well-built, and they were both giving each other a run for their money. Your eyes tried to follow their efforts on the floor, and you tried to find an opening to where you could kick Tony off-guard to help Ben. But there was too much movement, and you didn’t want to injure Ben in the process.

 

Ben was on top now, pummeling Tony’s face with a sickening crunch. You covered your mouth with your hands. You had never seen grown men fight in person before, and it was brutal. So much worse than they made it out to be in movies.

 

You heard Ben cry out, and you screamed again when you saw blood seeping out from his left shoulder where there was now a huge slice in the fabric of his t-shirt. Somehow, the two men broke apart, giving Tony enough time to run out of your room and out your door like the coward that he was.

 

“Oh my God. Ben,” you kneeled down beside him. “You’re hurt.”

 

“I’m fine,” he said, sitting up slowly. “It’s not deep.”

 

You were crying. “We need to call the police,” you said.

 

“No,” he stopped you. “We’re not going to call the police.”

 

“Why? We have to!”

 

“Because he knows about us. And if he blabs about you and I, your grades will be put in review, they’ll do an investigation, and you’re likely to get kicked out of school,” he said exasperated.

 

“And your career could be ruined completely,” you finished.

 

“Give me some time to think about our options,” he said. “Either way, he’s going to be extremely sorry. He’s fucked with the wrong person.”

 

His adrenaline was fading and his breathing started to even out, and he looked at you. You noticed his cheek under his right eye was slightly red, and his lip was bleeding. Your fingertips gently touched under his eye and he winced. “Ben, oh my god,” you continued to cry. You were still trying to process what happened.

 

He took your hand and kissed the inside of your wrist. “What about you? Are you okay? Did he hurt you? Did he touch you?”

 

“I’m fine,” you said, leaning into his touch. “He tried, but nothing happened.”

 

“How did he get in the apartment?”

 

His tone was a little accusatory, but you brushed it off. You knew Ben tended to be on the jealous side. “I thought it was you when the doorbell rang. After I opened my door, he sort of just barged in,” you said. “He was too strong. I couldn’t stop him.”

 

He shook his head. “I’m glad I came upstairs. I knew something was off when you weren’t responding to my texts or calls. I just wish I came up sooner.”

 

You hugged him. “Thank you, Ben.” 

 

He held you back. “You’re shaking,” he said.

 

“I’ll be okay. You’re here now.”

 

“Listen, I want you to stay with me for a few days. I don’t want you to be alone. Not while he’s still out there.”

 

You looked up at him. “Ben, you don’t have to put yourself out like that. I can stay with my mom. She’s in Manhattan.”

 

“Please stay with me?” 

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“I’m sure.” He planted a kiss on the corner of your mouth. “Now can we get the fuck out of here?” 

 

You laughed. “Yes. I still have a dinner to make.”


	14. Deep Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're carrying Baby Ben inside of you. To tell him or not to tell him. That is the question. Oh, and smut returns!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your patience with this chapter! Let me know your thoughts. As always, your comments and feedback give me life and are the main motivation for my updates! New update coming Thursday the latest!

It felt good to be in Ben’s presence after what happened. He was calming, and you felt protected. But you couldn’t get rid of that sinking feeling in the pit if your stomach. Deep within you, a tiny form of life lay nestled in your womb, and Ben put it there. You felt guilty not mentioning anything to him yet, but you didn’t feel ready to break the news. The fact that Ben poured you a glass of wine when you got back to his place didn’t help your guilt. Panicking, you politely declined the glass of wine, mentioning the fact that you were still feeling a bit off from the events that occurred earlier and that water would be “just fine.” He didn’t think anything of it, but you had to be careful. If you consistently passed on glasses of wine, he would start to suspect something. 

 

You tried to get your mind off the guilt during your preparation of dinner, and it helped somewhat. Ben couldn’t stop complimenting you on your fine skills as a chef, just about inhaling his chicken piccata. You enjoyed watching him eat more than feeding yourself, but that was one of the joys of cooking, wasn’t it? When everyone around you was enjoying the food you put your heart and soul into making? It warmed you deep down that he was enjoying one of his first home-cooked meals in years.

 

When you were both finished with dinner, he picked you up bridal style from your kitchen seat and carried you up the stairs to his bedroom. “I need to shower and get all this blood off of me,” he said, still holding you in his arms. “Join me?” His nose was nuzzled in your cheek, his voice was muffled. There was no way you could say no to him.

 

You turned your head to face him, placing a tender kiss on his lips and running a hand through his hair, exposing his ear in the process. He turned his head a little, and you knew it was because he was self conscious of his ears. His ears were cute, and you adored them. In time, you hoped he would realize that you loved everything about him. 

 

“Okay, baby,” you whispered.

 

He put you down, quickly shedding himself of his shirt and jeans.

 

“I’ll get the water started,” he winked at you and kissed the air in your direction. You watched him walk into his bathroom, staring at his firm ass through his boxer briefs and scanning his defined muscles on the expanse of his back. He was so perfect, and right now, he was yours. You took off your top and jeans, keeping only your white lace panties on. You stood there with confidence, anticipating his reaction as he came out of the bathroom. His expression when he stood in the doorway and met your gaze was everything you wanted. His eyes turned dark with need, his mouth went slack, and you heard a slight exhale of breath. The stiffness in his boxers was impossible to ignore.

 

A grin formed across his face as he slowly sauntered over to you. You expected his hands to go in your most intimate places first, but one hand went under your chin, gently tilting it up so he could look upon your face. “I never want to be without you,” he whispered. You inhaled sharply, getting the warm fuzzies all over your entire body. His lips fell on yours in a tender kiss, his tongue softly prying open your lips and working its way inside your mouth. You kissed him back, your palms pressing against his solid chest. He was warm, and everything about the firmness of his body made you feel safe and protected. Maybe it was the early stages of your pregnancy hormones making you feel this way. You weren’t sure, but you just wanted to be with him, touching him, smelling him.

 

You pressed your body closer, your hardened and tender nipples grazing his chest. He brought his hands up to cup your mounds of flesh, gently rubbing his calloused thumbs over them and pulling on them slightly. You let out a soft moan into his mouth, and he broke away from the kiss.

 

“I want to take you here before we get into the shower,” he whispered. It was then you realized the shower was on and that the water had been running. You rubbed your thighs together, feeling your arousal seeping into your panties. “Fuck me, Ben,” you whispered. “Fuck me hard.”

 

One of his hands moved from your breasts down to your belly, giving you goosebumps when his hand covered your abdomen where your little Baby Ben lay resting inside you. His hand moved further, inside the front band of your panties. You felt his finger move all the way down to your entrance, softly parting your folds and feeling for evidence of your arousal. There was no hiding it.

 

“Is this all for me?” he whispered, trailing his finger from your entrance to your clit and then back again. Your legs felt like jelly.

 

“Ben,” … you said, holding on to his forearms to steady yourself.

 

He brought his fingers up to his mouth, sucking off your arousal.

 

“Fuck, you taste so good,” he said huskily. “Let’s take these off.” He got on his knees to pull your panties down, noticing that the crotch of your panties had stuck to your pussy as he was sliding them down. “Oh, these are going to smell real good,” he whispered. “I’m keeping these.” He threw your soaked panties on a chair next to his dresser. The fact that Ben got off to the smell and taste of your cunt was incredibly hot, and you squeezed your thighs together again for more friction.

 

“Ben,” you mewled again, pressing into his shoulders. “Please…”

 

“Please what, baby?” he asked. He parted your legs, lifting one of your thighs over his shoulder.

 

“I need it….I need you,” you said between deep breaths. 

 

“Tell me what you need, baby. I want to hear you say it,” you could feel his breath on your pussy.

 

“Lick my pussy, Ben. I need your tongue on me. Please.” You grabbed his hair and shoved his face in your cunt. You heard him groan and felt his lips curl up in a smile against your pussy. Both his hands were supporting your ass so you wouldn’t fall back. You were thankful. There was no way you could support yourself right now.

 

One of your favorite things about Ben eating your pussy was his nose, which rubbed steadily against your clit. You had both hands on his head now, fisting his hair, grinding yourself on his face. “Ben, I’m so close,” you panted. You felt him add more pressure with his tongue, flicking your clit quickly, then flattening it against your swollen pearl in broad strokes. “Fuck, fuck,” you cried out. You were sure you were gripping his hair too tight, but he didn’t seem to mind. Coming down from your high, you felt his lips softly kiss your mound, something you noticed he did every time he ate your pussy and after you came. He gently placed your leg back down, and you felt the slick of your arousal on your thighs the moment your legs were put together.

 

He stood up, palming his cock through his boxer briefs.    
  
You looked up at him with a sly grin. “How do you want me, Professor?” You put your hands behind your back, feigning innocence.

 

He stood for a moment, in a lustful gaze. “I want my cock to be as deep … inside you … as possible.” He drawled out the words slowly for further emphasis.

 

He gestured toward his bed. “Lay on your back.”

 

You did as he commanded, crawling to the center of the bed and flipping on your back. He was close behind you, on his knees, resting on his heels. He spread your legs, placing his hands under your thighs and bringing your knees up to your chest. Your heart was racing. You knew it was going to feel incredibly deep like this, and with the size of Ben’s dick, you were sure to be feeling it all the way up to your cervix. He moved his hips closer to you, sliding himself to the hilt in one go.

 

You yelped. Ben’s dick was so deep in this position -- you had never ever been fucked to this depth before. Instinctively, your hands went to his chest to ease him off a bit. His hands still splayed on the back of your thighs, holding them wide open and to your chest, he began thrusting. Every single one of your senses were heightened, from the deep poke within your belly to the visual of Ben’s broad chest hovering above you to his forearms gripping your thighs and holding them apart. 

 

Ben was thrusting faster now, his pants growing heavier and louder, and his hair falling over his eyes as he watched himself move in and out of you. The muscles in his arms were flexing, causing your pussy to pulsate uncontrollably. You ran your hands down his forearms and held on. Every one of his forceful thrusts causing your breasts to move in unison with the rest of your body.

 

One of his hands went to your clit, your shared juices making the movement of his fingers glide easily along the sensitive flesh. Your body didn’t really give you a warning. It was instant this time.

 

“Ben, I … I’m coming … fuck,” you mewled. You threw your head back, mouth open wide as your hands and fingernails dug into his forearms.

 

“Yes, fuck yes, baby … come on me,” he shouted, throwing your legs over his shoulders and pummeling into you until he reached his own climax.

 

His hair was sweaty, sticking to the sides of his face. You brushed it aside as he pulled himself out of you. You felt his spend start to slip out of your pussy, and you closed your legs to prevent causing a huge mess on his sheets. Leaning over you on his forearms, he kissed you. His lips trailed down your neck and your sternum, all the way down to your belly button. It was like Ben was kissing his baby. If he only knew. You got goosebumps again. He had just fucked you like an animal. You hoped your baby was okay. You put your hands protectively over your abdomen. Should you tell him tonight?

 

He snapped you out of your thoughts.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said, biting his lip. “For coming inside you. I have a hard time pulling out of you once I’m already in. I don’t have self control. Your pussy is a trap.” He gave you an apologetic smile.

 

“It’s okay,” you said uncomfortably. He had no idea that it was a completely irrelevant point right now.

 

He smiled reassuringly. “Like I said, it takes a lot of couples a long time for something to happen. We’re not going to find ourselves in that kind of trouble.”

 

You gulped, eyes going wider than normal.  _ Trouble? _ That word stung. Your poor little Baby Ben growing inside of you was …  _ trouble _ ? It wasn’t your unborn baby’s fault that you were in this situation. You faked a smile, for Ben’s sake, not wanting to cause any suspicion. But suddenly, you felt very protective of the life growing inside of you and even more worried about telling Ben the truth.

  
  



	15. Miscommunication

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go horribly wrong for you and Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy this chapter. It's full of angst. I live for angst! Next chapter is out Saturday or Sunday!

  


For the next few weeks, you and Ben had settled into a solid routine. You spent the majority of your nights at his place, and he had asked you on several occasions, okay more like begged you, to move in with him. Things wouldn’t have been any different than how it was now, he argued. Still not wanting to give up 100% of your independence, you kept him on ice. “My mother would kill me!” was your excuse. Besides, would he still want to keep you around when you told him you were carrying his child? 

 

The secret you were keeping had become a huge shadow over you day in and day out. You had already waited so long to tell Ben that it was making you nervous to tell him the more time passed. So you waited, and it had become an endless cycle. And now here you were, sitting alone in Ben’s kitchen with only a glass of water and your thoughts. Ben had left earlier that day for another workshop, this time in San Diego. Thankfully, he would only be gone a week instead of two. He had asked you to join him, but you decided to take up some summer classes to earn as much credit as possible, considering you probably weren’t going to finish your last semester of college being massively pregnant by then.

 

You sighed. Part of you was incredibly excited at the life growing inside of you. You thought about it often. Would it be a girl? A boy? Would he have thick, wavy hair like his father? Would he be tall? Would he have those large ears you have grown to adore? And then you thought of Ben. Would he be a good father? Did he even want to be a father? Would you be a good mother?

 

You touched your belly, rubbing it gently. Recently, you noticed the slightest most tiniest bump and wondered if Ben thought anything of it, or if he even noticed. Maybe he thought you were just getting chubby and he was being polite. To avoid any questions, you dressed in baggier tops as often as possible, or wore workout leggings and hoodies. But Ben wasn’t an idiot. He’d suspect something sooner or later, which is why you had to tell him when he came back.

 

Coincidentally, Ben was calling you on Facetime. You smiled to yourself when his face popped up on your phone. You answered, smiling when he came into view. He appeared to be sitting on his hotel bed, shirtless. How incredibly lucky for you.

 

“Hi baby,” you smiled.

 

“Hi love,” he smiled back. “What are you doing?”

 

“Just having a glass of water before I head out. You?”

 

“Oh yeah, I forgot about the time difference there. It’s only 7:30 over here. Where are you going?” The anxiety you heard in his voice was hard to miss, even though he was trying to downplay it.

 

“1Oak,” you said, trying to sound casual. “Girls night.”

 

“Ah, I see. Are you already dressed?” he asked.

 

“Mmm hmm.”

 

“Show me,” he commanded.

 

“Only if you don’t make me change,” you said with a smirk.

 

“Let me see,” he repeated again, sounding a little irritated.

 

You groaned and stood up, showcasing your form-fitting black dress that was more than appropriate enough for a club night out with friends.

 

He huffed. “HA! Nice try, love. Absolutely not. No. You’re not going to a club wearing that. Nope.” You could sense his agitation, but he was working hard to be lighthearted about it in hopes that it wouldn’t escalate into something more serious. 

 

The reality was you were definitely not going to cheat on Ben. Why couldn’t he see that? You had no interest in meeting another man. It was just a girl’s night out. A much needed girl’s night out, and you weren’t going to let Ben, who was all the way across the country, take this night away from you.

 

“I’m not changing, Ben,” you said firmly. “Nothing is wrong with my dress.”

 

He ran both hands down his face and one of his hands through his hair. One side of his hair was sticking up, and he reminded you of a crazy person. He was clearly distressed. It shouldn’t have been comical, but it was … slightly. You had to force yourself not to laugh. You momentarily took your face out of the frame on Facetime so he wouldn’t see you smirking.

 

“You’re not going out wearing that,” he said. This time, it sounded like an order.

 

“Don’t do this, Ben,” you said, your voice slightly raised.

 

“(Y/N), please, I am begging you,” the desperation in his voice was clear. “Absolutely begging. Please. Change. Please. Put on some pants. Anything else. Just not that.”   
  
“Ben, this is a regular dress. I refuse to go out looking like a grandma.”   
  
“It’s better than looking like a whore,” he instantly shot back. The look on his face was instant regret.

 

Your jaw dropped. “What did you say?”

 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I did  _ NOT _ mean that. I’m just freaking out. Please change.”

 

“Do you trust me, Ben? Like, at all?”

 

He nodded frantically. “Yes, I do. I just don’t trust the other guys.”

 

“Don’t use that as an excuse, Ben.” You sighed, then continued. “I’m yours, okay?”

 

“Please don’t do this to me. I’m not going to be able to sleep tonight knowing you’re at a club and wearing that. I feel like I’m having a panic attack right now.” He gripped his chest for good measure.

 

This wasn’t going anywhere, and you needed to schedule an Uber. “I have to go, Ben.” You stood up, hoping he’d get the hint.

 

“No,” he said defiantly.

 

“Ben, you’re acting like a child. Just in case you didn’t know this, I am an  _ adult _ ,” you said it slowly, like you were speaking to a child. “And just because we’ve been fucking for the last few months doesn’t give you the right to dictate what I wear. Got it?”

 

“Fucking for the last few months,” he repeated and then huffed.

 

“What?” you snipped.

 

“Is that all this is? Fucking?” he asked.

 

There it was. The start of a conversation you had hoped to have with him soon, and in person. Not on Facetime when he was halfway across the country, and certainly not in the middle of an argument.

 

“I don’t want to do this now Ben,” you said. “I know what you’re doing. You’re trying to stall me.”

 

He didn’t reply. In fact, he looked extremely hurt. But he started this argument. He should learn to trust you. That you could have a night out with your friends without dictating what you wear.

 

“I have to go,” you repeated.

 

“Don’t leave me,” he whispered.

 

“Ben stop it,” you said. “Don’t make me feel guilty for wanting to go out with my friends. I’ve spent so much time with you, and I’ve been putting them off for a while now.”

 

“Well fuck, don’t let me stop you from hanging with your friends.”

 

“Ben, you know what I meant.”

 

“Sure. Have a  **fucking** blast tonight.”  _ Click. _

 

Oh hell no. He did not just shout that into the phone and end your connection. What an asshole. You had the nerve to change into something extremely slutty but thought the better of it. You were going to be a mother, and you didn’t want to stoop to Ben’s level of childish behavior. You decided that it would be best not to answer his texts or calls for the rest of the week. He needed to think about his behavior. You could talk it out when he came back.

 

* * *

  
  


You had missed Ben terribly by the end of the week but stayed true to your word. Even though his texts and all his calls you were ignoring were tugging at your heart and soul. You could literally feel his panic through the phone. You figured you both needed the time apart anyway, especially since you decided to tell him about your pregnancy when he got back. You had waited long enough, and since things were a little difficult between the both of you right now, you figured you’d get it all out in the open while the going was tough.

 

The very next morning, you laid on his couch, staring at the door, waiting for the sound of his jiggling keys. You had on a pair of jeans and a loose-fitting t-shirt, your outfit of choice since you starting noticing a tiny bump lately.

 

The familiar jingle jangle of the keys approached, and the front door opened. Ben dragged himself inside. He looked like he had been through hell. His hair was messy. Cute but messy. He had dark circles under his eyes, and his black long-sleeve sweater was beyond wrinkled. You both made eye contact, and no one smiled. You sat up slowly from the couch.

 

“Hi,” you said with slight hesitation in your voice, sitting up on the couch and hugging a throw pillow.

 

He shut the door and stood in front of it awkwardly. “Hi.”

 

Well, it was now or never. You took a deep breath. _ Get ready little Baby Ben. We’re about to tell your daddy about you! _

 

“Ben,” you put the pillow aside and placed a hand on your abdomen. “We … have to talk.”

 

He cursed, causing you to jump. “FUCK,” he shouted, hands on his hips and looking down at his feet. “I already know what you’re going to say, so let me make this easy for you. Just get out.”

 

Your heart stopped and your throat dropped to the pit of your stomach. “What?” You were dreaming. This had to be a nightmare.  _ Please God, wake me up! _

 

“Leave,” he said, still not looking you in the eye. “I should have done this a long time ago. I don’t even want to hear you say it. Just get out. I’ll box up your clothes and the rest of your shit and drop it off in the morning.”

 

You couldn’t believe this. You couldn’t believe  _ him _ . Was this the same man you’ve been seeing for the last few months? The man who nuzzled you and called you “love” on the daily? The same man who told you he never wanted to be without you? The man who knowingly fucked you without a condom more times than you can count, and when there’s actual consequences he bails? You felt your eyes beginning to brim with tears, but you kept your dignity in place and refused to sob in front of him.

 

You stood up, still in shock. You had no idea how you found the strength to stand, or even breathe. At this moment, the pain was overpowering the anger you felt. Everything hurt … so badly. 

 

“I thought you were going to be different,” you said, tears slowly gliding down your cheeks. “I’m glad I found out now rather than later that you’re just like everyone else.”

 

He still wasn’t looking you in the eye. What a coward.  _ What a fucking coward. _

 

“You’re an asshole, Ben,” you said, voice barely a whisper. “Have a nice life.”

 

You walked by him and slammed his front door. Ben, the father of your unborn child, had just broken your heart into a million pieces. You would have given anything for a pair of sunglasses right now, but they were on his kitchen table, and you did NOT want to go back in there. You walked a safe distance away from his brownstone before you let yourself sob completely. You hated how you fell for him so quickly. You  _ never _ fall for anyone like you did Ben. Why did you let yourself get so attached? You were so close to telling him you loved him. You’re glad you didn’t say it out loud. He probably would have laughed in your face.

  
You cradled the tiny swell of your belly. Not only did you hurt for yourself, but you hurt for your unborn child. His father didn’t want him. Or her? Regardless, he threw the both of you out like garbage. You felt a huge lump in the back of your throat, and the thought made you sob again. 

 

“Well, I want you, little one. And I love you so much already,” you whispered to yourself.

 

* * *

 

There was a pit in your stomach the moment she stopped taking your calls and texts, and it grew heavier and heavier as the days wore on. By the time it got to the end of the week, your body and your emotions were so numb that you felt like you were a robot. A shell. Just existing.

 

You knew exactly what she was going to say when she said she needed to talk. You knew she was going to break up with you. She had clearly had enough of your jealousy and immature behavior. She was beautiful and kind-hearted and … all of the above. Why would someone like her tolerate a man who was so … broken?

 

_ Ben, we need to break up. Ben, we need to stop seeing each other. Ben, I don’t want to see you anymore. _ However she was going to say it, you didn’t even want to hear it. It would have crushed you. So you did everything short of physically shoving her out of your door before she could do so. But you should have fought harder, right? She was the closest thing you’ve ever been to loving someone. Truly, deeply loving someone. Wait. Did you love her? Yes. You loved her. You should have told her before she walked out the door. Goddamnit, you fucked up big time. Why the fuck did you let her leave?

 

You went to town on the downstairs floor of your brownstone. Tossing furniture, lamps, papers, books. Smashing votives. Her votives. You looked at your kitchen table and saw her sunglasses. You walked over to them and gripped them in your hand, lightly at first but then you felt them crunch inside your fisted palm. You let out a primal scream, well aware that your neighbors were likely wondering what the fuck you were up to. But you didn’t care.

 

Hyperventilating, or close to it, you reached for your phone. You needed your therapist. Karissa would know what to do. She always knows.


	16. 20 Weeks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're 20 weeks along in your pregnancy, and you've never felt so alone. But are you really alone?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update came early! I love you guys, so I tried to make every effort to update tonight :) As always, please leave me some love and comment if you're enjoying the story so far! I'll try to update tomorrow or Sunday <3

The last month had been a whirlwind. You had to break the news to your parents and friends that you were pregnant, for one. Second, you had to hide the fact that Ben was the father because well, he was your former professor afterall. And he also clearly indicated to you that he was not going to be a part of your baby’s life in any way whatsoever. So why did you have to reveal his identity? Last but not least, you had to forego your last semester of school since it would have been too difficult to keep up with a pregnancy, schoolwork, and the bustle of being a student in general. Your parents were disappointed, but they were extremely supportive, and you couldn’t have been more thankful. Your friends were very understanding as well, but they wouldn’t stop asking who the father was. You were afraid it would come out eventually with Tony’s big mouth and all. But you were ready for it.

 

It was strange going through a pregnancy alone. This was something you never would have imagined for yourself. You pictured foot rubs from your significant other. Your man running to the store in the middle of the night for you whenever you had a craving. Just someone to be there for you in general. You felt foolish for your personal pity party. Your heart ached at how things ended with Ben. Even if you both amicably decided that things weren’t going to work out, you had hoped he would have wanted to be around for his child and be a part of his life. Help support you so you wouldn’t be in this completely alone. But he was a worse human being than you expected, throwing you away without a care in the world. You wondered if he moved on to another girl already. The thought of it hurt more than you would have liked, so you quickly pushed it aside.

 

Where did everything go wrong? You two were inseparable. You were both on the verge of exchanging ‘I love you’s’ … you felt it. You didn’t understand how someone can go from hot to cold so quickly. You had spent the last month replaying everything in your head, as much as it tormented your soul. Did he just snap? Were his commitment issues that bad? Well, it was no use thinking about how you hoped things would be. It’s time to live in the future now. You needed to be in the present, for yourself and for your baby. 

 

Which, you found out today would be a baby boy. Holding the ultrasound of your budding baby inside your belly, you find yourself thinking of Ben. You looked at the shape of your baby on the ultrasound, wondering about your baby’s features. Were those Ben’s lips? His nose? You could swear the baby had his ears. In the ultrasound, it was clear. As sad and alone as you felt, you smiled to yourself and patted your belly. The doctor said today your baby was the size of a bell pepper. You still couldn’t believe you were carrying a life inside of you. 

 

Promising your friends and family that you’d show them your 20 week ultrasound photo, you decided to upload it to your Instagram earlier today. “My little bell pepper,” you captioned it. You smiled to yourself scrolling through the likes and comments you were getting. Sure you were alone, but you weren’t  _ alone _ alone. If that made any sense. But then a comment came through from a  **BSolo1984** that made you gasp out loud and almost drop your water bottle.  _ Congratulations _ , it said. Just … congratulations.

 

You clicked on the username, and it went to a private account. He had no followers, and the only person he was following was you. He also had 0 photos uploaded. There was no doubt this was Ben. You looked at his comment again.  _ Congratulations _ ?? What a sick fuck. You threw your phone down and decided to get comfortable for the night. Sure, it was 8:30 on a Friday, but since you’ve been pregnant, you’ve had no desire to go out after 8:00. Your body was constantly tired. You slid off your leggings and kept on a t-shirt and panties. The shirt was Ben’s, but it was comfortable and long enough so that you could wear panties underneath and no one would be able to see anything.

 

You made yourself a tea and was ready to sprawl yourself out on the couch for a round of Netflix tonight. 

 

_ Knock knock. _

 

Damnit. Who could that be at this hour? You got up and looked through the peephole, but it was covered by something. What the hell? 

 

“Who is it?” you called out. No response.

 

Against your better judgement, and your mother would have killed you for doing this, but you opened your door a crack. Your curiosity always got the better of you.

 

“Ben?” you blurted out in total bewilderment.  _ What the hell?? _

 

He was standing there in black jeans and a t-shirt with his black chucks. He was holding a bouquet of flowers.

 

“Hey,” he said warily, as if he was expecting you to slam the door in his face at any moment. Well, he was right. You went to close the door in his face but he called out to you.

 

“Wait,” he said, his voice desperate. He brought his hand up to the door but he wasn’t forcing it open. You sighed. Why did he have this pull over you?

 

“What do you want?” you said.

 

“I just … I saw your picture on your Instagram earlier. I wanted to say congratulations … in person. And to give you these.” He handed you the bouquet of flowers.

 

Okay, now you were confused. Your jaw was open, brows furrowed in confusion, trying to process just what the fuck was going on. When he noticed you weren’t going to take the flowers, he pulled them back and continued.

 

“I didn’t like where we left things. I should have just let you say what you had to say and let you get everything out in the open. I was selfish, and I’m sorry for that. I just didn’t want to lose you. If you actually said the words to me, that you didn’t want to be with me anymore, it would have made it that more real. Do you understand? I know it’s not an excuse, but I just wanted a chance to tell you where my head was at the time. And that … I’m sorry. And just … congratulations again.” He motioned toward your stomach, noticing that you were wearing his t-shirt.

 

You put a hand over your abdomen instinctively. You were still trying to process what Ben was saying, and you felt yourself starting to shake. Did he really not know? Were you two talking about two different things the day you broke up? Your heart started to flutter, but you tried to calm it down. You didn’t want to get ahead of yourself and misunderstand what was happening for a second time. You didn’t want Ben to break your heart twice. This time, you wouldn’t be able to hand it.

 

He looked uncomfortable at your silence and nervously ran a hand through his hair. He motioned to your stomach again. “He’s a lucky guy, whoever his is.” He gave a fake, nervous laugh, looking down your hallway.

 

“I .. guess I should go.” He attempted to give you the bouquet of flowers again, and you grabbed them this time. He started to walk away.

 

“Ben, wait!” you called out, tossing the bouquet on a chair behind you.

 

He stopped immediately and walked back to the door. “Yeah?” His movements were quick. He seemed excited you were even going to speak to him. His eyes were wide. Those same cute puppy dog eyes that you fell in love with.

 

“Did you think I was going to break up with you that day? Is that what you think I wanted to talk about?” 

 

He nodded. “Yes.”

 

You closed your eyes and sighed. “That’s all?”

 

“Yes,” he said, looking a little confused. “Why?”

 

You felt your eyes starting to brim with tears. You didn’t know what you were feeling. Relief? Sadness that you were both hurting over nothing for the last month? Confusion? Love? “Ben, I didn’t want to break up with you. I was never going to break up with you.”

 

He stared at you. You could see his eyes trying to process what you were saying.

 

“You didn’t?” he asked.

 

You shook your head quickly. “No … Ben. I ...I was trying to say something else.”

 

“What was it?” he asked, his voice barely a whisper.

 

You took his hand and pulled him inside your apartment. “Just come inside and let’s talk.”

 

“Okay,” he said, sounding confused. He stumbled in awkwardly, combing his hand through his hair again before shoving one of his hands in his pockets.

 

You walked up to him real close, taking him by the wrist of his free hand and placing it on your tiny bump.

 

His eyes narrowed as he hunched over you, and you knew he was slowly starting to figure things out.

 

“Ben,” you whispered. “This is yours.”


	17. "He"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben finally learns that he's going to become a father and connects with you in more ways than one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who missed the smut? Me me me! Enjoy <3<3<3

[ ](https://imgbb.com/)

 

It felt surreal finally telling Ben the truth after knowing it yourself for so long.

 

“What?” Ben whispered back, eyes wide. You watched his Adam’s apple bob as he gulped nothing but air.

 

Still holding his hand to your belly, you continued. “I wanted to tell you that day, Ben. But then … everything just happened. I’m sorry. I thought you knew. I thought that’s why you wanted me to go.”

 

Ben looked like he was going to pass out, so you took his arm and guided him to the couch, and he sunk down. He ran a hand through his hair and both hands down his face before leaning forward with his elbows on his knees and burying his face in his hands. He was shaking, and you could have sworn you heard a small sob. You gently rubbed his back to help soothe and calm him. Was he crying? Yes, he was definitely crying.

 

You let a few minutes pass before you broke the silence. “Ben, are you okay?” you asked quietly.

 

He slowly removed his hands from his face and turned to face you. His eyes and cheeks were red.

 

“Talk to me, Ben,” you said. You had no idea how he was feeling, and that made you slightly nervous.

 

“I’m so … happy,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. His eyes started to water again. “I’m also … sad. Because you’ve been alone. You’ve been going through this alone, and I wasn’t here for you.” He shook his head slowly, rubbing the back of his neck.

 

“Ben, it’s okay. You didn’t know …” you replied, still rubbing his back. “I should have told you a lot sooner. I was just scared. I didn’t know if you wanted … this,” you gestured to your bump.

 

“To be honest, I didn’t think I would have ever want something like this,” he admitted. “But now that it’s happening … and it’s happening with you … I know I want this. I know I … I know I … love you.” 

  
You felt your insides grow warm with happiness, and your mouth spread into the biggest smile across your face. He said it. He finally said it. And you didn’t know when your eyes began watering, but you felt a single tear fall down your check. “Ben, I love you.” You threw your arms around his shoulders and held on to him tightly.

 

“For the record, I loved you way before this moment,” he whispered in your ear. “I’m sorry you’ve been alone. I’m going to take care of you and our baby. I’ll keep you both safe.”

 

You smiled into his neck, breathing in his scent. His familiar scent of cologne, soap, shampoo and fabric softener was so comforting. “Okay baby,” you said, still holding on to him tightly. “We’ll take care of you, too.” You never wanted to let him go after knowing the pain you felt this last time.

 

He pulled back and placed his hand on your stomach and rewarded you with one of his rare smiles. “This feels surreal,” he said. His hands were moving about your belly, like he was trying to feel all of you, mark you with his scent. “It’s right in here,” he said in amazement. “Our baby.”

 

You smiled. “I know. I still can’t believe it. He’ll be here before we know it.”

 

He looked up. “He?”

 

You nodded, and he let out a deep breath, looking prideful. 

 

“Jesus Christ,” he whispered to himself in pure wonder, hands still splayed over your belly.

 

You let out a small laugh. His face inched close to yours and you felt his soft lips against your own. You felt the need behind the kiss as his tongue slid past your lips, making up for the many weeks the both of you had been apart from each other. You were well aware that your pregnancy hormones were working on overdrive, and you felt your arousal pooling between your legs just from the kiss. You needed Ben now.  _ Right now. _

 

You swung your leg over to straddle him on the couch, your fingers lifting the hem of his shirt over his head to reveal his broad shoulders and muscular chest. You missed running your hands down his physique. He was not a small man by any means, and you loved how his size made you feel safe and protected.

 

Ben moaned into your mouth, softly tugging at your bottom lip. You were so horny that you had no time for formalities. “Please fuck me, Ben,” you whispered in his ear before nipping at his earlobe and trailing tender kisses down his jawline.

 

“Are you sure?” he whispered. His hands were resting on your hips, his thumbs were rubbing the skin underneath the elastic of your panties.

 

You nodded quickly. “Yes, hurry,” you begged. “I need you Ben. I need to feel you inside me.” His eyes grew dark, eyelids hooded. You could physically see his transformation before you. Gentle and caring Ben to Sex God.  _ Yes, bring back Ben the Sex God. _

 

“Fuck,” he whispered. You felt his hands in front of your sex, shuffling and clumsily unbuckling his pants. You lifted your hips slightly so he could pull his jeans and boxers down. He was already hard, and you were practically drooling seeing his cock again for the first time in a long time.

 

“Ben,” you mewled. 

 

“Shh, I’ve got you,” he whispered. He didn’t even wait to pull your panties down. You felt his fingers pull your panties to the side and trace from your entrance and upwards to your clit. You knew you were dripping just by feeling how easily his hand slid through your cunt. You felt his cock press against your entrance, and you dropped yourself down forcefully to sheath yourself completely on his length.

 

The both of you moaned at the same time. Ben silently cursed to himself, his hands gripping your hips tightly. Wasting no time, you began riding him, gyrating your hips in a circular motion so you could feel every inch of him. “You’re so deep, baby, I feel you everywhere,” you moaned. “You’re so big.”

 

“You like my cock that deep?” he whispered huskily. 

 

“Mmmmm, yes baby,” you whined.

 

He lifted your t-shirt over your head and placed his palms on your breasts, taking a nipple into his mouth. He was alternating between sucking and blowing on them lightly. Damn, it felt amazing. Since you were pregnant, your nipples had also become incredibly sensitive to the slightest touch, even when fabrics rubbed against them. Ben was not an idiot. He knew exactly what he was doing to your pregnant body. What Ben was doing right now was driving you out of your mind. You started heavily panting, one of your hands tangling themselves in his hair while he had his mouth against your hard nipples.

 

“So responsive,” he whispered. His hands traced down your swollen breasts and to your belly. “Fuuuuck, baby,” he said softly. “Your tits are so swollen … your belly, just … fuck. You have no idea how sexy as fuck you are right now.” He cradled your bump in his hands, watching you ride his dick. “I did this,” he seemed to have been whispering to himself more than to you. He looked up at you. “I love your body.” He nuzzled your tits again. 

 

Knowing that the changes in your body were driving him wild were turning you on. You threw your head back, hands on his shoulders to steady yourself. You felt pressure on your clit from Ben’s thumb rubbing gently against it.

 

“Ben, I’m going to come,” you said desperately.

 

“Come for me, baby. I want to feel your pussy clench down on my dick.”

 

You felt the flood gates open and your pussy start to pulsate. You let go, rocking yourself hard against his manhood, digging your fingers deep inside the muscles of his shoulders. Ben followed closely behind you. He cried out, sitting up and nuzzling his face against your breasts as he came. His fingers were bruising your hips, but you didn’t care. You felt the warmthness of his familiar spend deep inside of you, and it made your heart sing. At this moment, you didn’t want his come anywhere else but there.

 

You stayed on top of him for a few minutes, listening to the sound of each other catch your breath. You didn’t say anything to each other. You didn’t have to. Ben adjusted the both of you on the couch so he was laying on his back, and you were lying comfortably on top of him. During the process, he removed himself from inside of you and you felt a little of his come leak out. You clenched your thighs in response.

 

“I’m making a mess,” you giggled.

 

“I don’t care,” he murmured into your hair.

 

There was silence again for a few minutes, until Ben spoke.

 

“Can we talk about a couple of things?” You felt his hand rub small circles on your lower back.

 

“Of course,” you turned to look at him from the side.

 

“I want you to move in with me,” he said.

 

Wow, he didn’t waste any time. But you were flattered he was asking. He mistook your silence for hesitation and continued talking to try and persuade you to say yes.

 

“I want to take care of you. I have a two-story, three-bedroom, 2.5 bath brownstone. There’s plenty of space for you and the baby. I’m 34 years old and pretty damn responsible, and frankly, I just don’t want to be apart. Please?”

 

You smiled. “Yes, I will.”

 

He smiled back and gave you a quick peck on the lips. “Thank you,” he said softly. “There’s also one more thing.”

 

“What’s that?” you said, genuinely curious about what he wanted to ask. What else could there be?

 

“My mother is an OB/GYN, and I’d like for you to consider changing doctors and seeing her instead,” he said. “I don’t want to force you to change doctors, especially if you’re comfortable with the one you already have. But, I know you’d be in good hands with her, too.”

 

You raised your eyebrows. “Ben, are you sure? You don’t seem that close with your family. I don’t want to be the reason why things get awkward.”

 

“I’m sure,” he answered quickly. “Now is a good a time as any to reach out to my family again.”

 

You kissed his cheek lightly. “Ben, I’d love for your mother to be my doctor.”

 

He sighed with relief, and then smiled, kissing your forehead. “I’ll call her in the morning, and we can get something scheduled right away.”

 

“Okay baby.”

 

“What does your class schedule look like? Just so I don’t make an appointment during those times.”

 

You stilled. Would Ben be disappointed if he knew you were taking some time off? Here goes nothing. 

 

“I’m taking my last semester off, Ben. I’ll go back after … I have the baby.”

 

He sighed, and you felt him holding you tighter. “I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s okay. This baby is going to be such a blessing. I don’t want you to be sorry for anything. Everything is going to be okay, and everything will work itself out. As long as you’re with me, it will all be okay. I truly believe that.”

 

He nodded. “Today feels like a dream. I can’t believe I’m holding you right now. You have no idea how much it ruined me that we were apart. I felt like I couldn’t breathe.”

 

“If it was anything like how I felt, then I have a pretty good idea,” you replied. You rested your head on his shoulder again, taking in the warmth of his body against yours. And that was the last thing you remembered before you both fell asleep in each other’s arms.


	18. Moving Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You finally move in with Ben, and also get to meet his lovely mother! Smut in the next chapter. Promise! <3

Ben didn’t waste any time in making the arrangements to have your stuff moved out of your apartment and into his house. It was the sound of his voice on the phone in your living room that woke you up. You found yourself neatly tucked in your bed, and you had no memory of moving there from the couch. Ben must have carried you there later in the night. Your heart swelled at the very thought of Ben taking care of you. You had been an independent woman for so long, and as much as you prided yourself on that quality, it felt good that someone else was looking after you. You hoped that if not now, Ben would feel that same kind of comfort from you.

 

You willed yourself to get out of your warm bed. You were still naked from last night, so you threw on a clean pair of panties and a tank top and met Ben in the living room. He was still on the phone with who you assumed to be the movers. You walked up in back of him and hugged him from behind. He looked down at your arms splayed across his abdomen and from the side, you saw him smile. Oh how you loved his rare smile.

 

After he finished his business and tossed the phone on the couch, he turned around to face you, planting a kiss on your forehead. “Movers will be here this afternoon. By tonight, you’ll be a resident of 21 Prospect Place.”

 

You squealed, jumping up and wrapping your legs around his waist. Ben caught you, his hands gripping under your ass to hold you in place. You pressed your forehead to his and kissed him.

 

He chuckled. “You need to be careful, love. You can’t be doing acrobatics like that for too much longer with our baby inside of you,” Ben chided with a slight grin.

 

You giggled against his lips. “I know. I’m not used to having a belly yet.”

 

“I’m not going to be able to lift you for too much longer either without needing a forklift,” he joked.

 

“Hey!” you playfully swatted his shoulder. “I don’t think I want to move in with you anymore.”

 

* * *

  
  


The movers were fast and efficient, and they weren’t in your hair for too long. It helped that she didn’t live too far away from you, so it only took two short trips in their truck for them to haul all of her stuff to your place. Now you happened to be in that annoying stage after a move where there’s a shit ton of boxes hanging around the house, causing an anxiety-inducing amount of clutter. 

 

You told yourself you can worry about it in the morning. You knew it would be you doing the majority of unpacking her things. You didn’t want her to be over-exerting herself while she was pregnant. You turned your phone over in your hand, knowing you had one more call to make before you could turn in for the night. This was not a call you were looking forward to making, but you knew it was the right thing to do. Even though you’ve been through some rough patches with your mother, you knew she still loved you endlessly. And there was no doubt she’d give the utmost care in taking care of your unborn baby and his mother you have come to love.

 

“Ben?” she answered after only one ring.

 

“Hello, mother,” you said stiffly. The word  _ mother _ rolling off of your tongue felt foreign. Strange.

 

“You never call me, Ben. Is everything alright?” she asked, her voice thick with concern, on the brink of panic.

 

“Yes, I’m fine. Look, I’m only calling for a favor. A pretty important one.” You figured it best to get straight to the point.

 

“Okay, anything. What is it?”

 

“I met someone …,” you began, taking a deep breath.

 

“Oh, that’s wonderful Ben.”

 

“She’s pregnant,” you blurted out.  _ Yep, rip the bandaid off quickly.  _ “20 weeks. It’s mine. She already has an OB/GYN but I’d like her to switch and see you instead.”

 

There was a pause on the end of the line. Your mother was obviously trying to process what you just said. “Oh Ben, I’d be honored. Yes. I’d love to do this for you.”   
  
You breathed out a sigh of relief. “Thanks,” you said awkwardly. “When can we come in and see you?”

 

“Tomorrow? How about 9:00?”

 

“9:00 is fine.”

 

There was an awkward silence. You could sense that your mother was holding back, that she had so many more things she wanted to say to you. A ton of questions too, you were sure. But she had to tread lightly. She had you on the phone now, and she didn’t want to lose you. You were like a fish on the end of the hook. If she reeled you in too fast, you’d drop off the line. And then there it was.

 

“Are you okay, honey?”

 

“I’m fine. I’m more than fine.”

 

“I’m glad you found someone. She must be very special.”

 

“She’s my world.” You were surprised at how easy that came out. You didn’t even have to think about it. It was the truth. For the last few months, this girl had truly been everything to you. And those moments when she was out of your life, things were complete shit. You never wanted to be away from her again.

 

“What’s her name?”

 

Saying her full name warmed you to the core. She was yours. And for a second, you added your last name to hers in your head, and you loved the sound of it.

 

“I can’t wait to meet her, Ben.”

 

“We’ll see you tomorrow, mother.”

 

“Goodnight, honey. See you tomorrow.”

 

* * *

  
  


Ben couldn’t stop tapping on the steering wheel on the way to your appointment, and it was starting to drive you crazy.

 

“Ben,” you called out, pointing to his fingers. “What’s wrong?”

 

“I haven’t seen her in 10 years,” he said softly. “It’s going to be weird.”

 

You sighed. “Ben, she’s going to be thrilled to see you. Mothers don’t hold grudges. Whatever you’re worried about, it’s in the past. Everything is going to be fine.” You patted his thigh in reassurance. “Besides, I’ll be with you.”

 

He smiled.

 

You wanted so badly to ask Ben about why he wasn’t close with his family anymore. Why he completely cut himself off from his parents for an entire decade. But you didn’t want to cause him anymore distress, and you figured he would tell you when the time was right. 

 

His mother’s office was in Midtown Manhattan, and you were delighted that Ben managed to find parking without a problem. You frowned when you approached the office doors, a big CLOSED sign was hanging on the front.

 

“Closed?” you asked out loud, confused. “Ben?” You turned to look at him, and he looked just as puzzled.

 

But before you could utter another word, the door opened, and a short but beautiful older woman opened the door. She was wearing a giant smile and turned to you before her son. “You must be (y/n),” she went in for a giant embrace. She held you at arms length to take a good look at you, still beaming. “You’re so beautiful. Congratulations to the both of you.”

 

“Thank you,” you smiled back at her. There was something about her that calmed your senses immediately. She was warm. Genuine. Motherly.

 

“I’m Dr. Organa, but just call me Leia. I insist.”

 

“Okay … Leia,” you said, testing the waters.

 

She beamed and turned to Ben, where he stood stiffly off to the side looking extremely uncomfortable. “Ben,” she reached for his arm and patted it. He flinched, noticeably. “It’s good to see you. I missed you so much. I’m glad you’re here.”

 

“Yeah, okay,” he spoke, more like mumbled awkwardly, and nodded at the same time. You noticed he couldn’t make eye contact with his mother. “Did you cancel all your appointments this morning just for us?”

 

She nodded. “Yes, I did. I haven’t seen you in a long time, Ben. This means a lot to me.”

 

“I see,” he said. You were embarrassed at Ben’s insensitivity and rudeness and felt the need to jump in.

 

“Leia, I can’t believe you did this just for us,” you said with a smile. “Thank you so much.”

 

“Nonsense,” she said. “I wouldn’t have had it any other way!”

 

And with excitement that reminded you of a child on Christmas morning, she took both of your hands in hers and started pulling you inside. “Come on, kids. I want to see my grandchild!”

 

* * *

  
  


You told (y/n) to meet you in the waiting room so you could properly say goodbye to your mother. You stood with your hands in your pockets as your mother tidied up the examination room.

 

“She’s young, Ben.” You knew what your mother was getting at. You sighed and rolled your eyes.

 

“Was she a student?” There it was. You were waiting for it. You were always one to not dance around the truth, so why stop now? You decided to be 100% honest.

 

“Yes, she was,” you admitted. A part of you felt guilty and ashamed, but the better half of you felt justified. You two had a special connection that you couldn’t explain. She wasn’t a cheap fuck. She made you want to be a better man. You fell in love.

 

When you caught eyes with your mother, you were surprised that she didn’t have a look of disappointment or judgment. She actually had a faint smile on her face.

 

“I don’t want to know the particulars of how things happened between the two of you,” she said. “But I’ve never seen you like this, Ben. She’s bringing out something in you that I haven’t seen since …” she trailed off.

 

“Yeah,” you said, shoving your hands in your pockets, cutting her off.

 

She was instantly embracing you, and you can’t recall her even moving that close to you to begin with. “Oh, okay,” you said in surprise, patting your mother’s back softly.

 

She let go and handed you two ultrasound images. “Here,” she said, wiping a few tears from her eyes. “One for you and one for her.”

 

Your mother was holding another photo in her hand. “What’s that one?” you asked, pointing to it.

 

Your mother smiled. “This one’s mine.”


	19. The Bribe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Previous summary: Last chapter, y/n moved in with Ben, met Ben's mom, and got a brand new ultrasound with cute little Baby Ben pics!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long gap between updates. Work has been hectic, and I wanted to make sure I gave you all a quality chapter without having to rush through it <3 Love you all.

 

Ben had to teach two morning classes and then he had office hours for his students until 4:00, so you pretty much had the entire day to yourself. He had only been gone for an hour, and you already missed the warmth of his solid body snuggling against you in bed. You couldn’t believe how far you and Ben had come since your initial romp in his office. From him being too freaked out to even kiss you to him telling you he didn’t want to ever be without you. You smiled to yourself and decided to surprise him during one of his classes. 

 

You showered quickly and dressed in jeans and a loose three-quarter sleeve cotton shirt to conceal your small baby bump and took an Uber to NYU. It felt weird being at the university without being an actual student. Fortunately for you, the university campus was so large that the chances of walking into anyone you knew was pretty much slim to none. 

  
You made it to Ben’s lecture hall fairly quickly. The classes he was teaching today were general education requirement classes, so the lecture hall was quite large and held about 150 students. Slipping into the back of the lecture hall would be easy. You eased the door open slowly and made sure it closed without a loud slam. You looked up to make sure Ben hadn’t noticed anyone entering his lecture. Sure enough, you made a clean entrance. He was writing on the whiteboard, back to the class, and talking at the same time. You took an empty aisle seat in the last row and just watched Ben in amazement.

 

It was a trip down memory lane for you watching him lecture again but not as a student of his this time. You knew Ben like the back of your hand, and it was such a surreal experience. You smiled as you watched his little ticks … the way he ran his hand through his hair when he would think about something, the way he’d use his hands when he spoke, the way he bit his bottom lip when he was attempting to explain something.

 

Ben dismissed the class after the lecture, and you waited for the students to clear out before you made your approach. You noticed several girls in the glass sticking around, waiting for a chance to ask Ben a one-on-one question. You rolled your eyes. You weren’t jealous … I mean, could you actually blame them? 

 

Out of the three girls hanging around, one was attractive. A tiny little blonde. She said something to Ben and touched his arm and laughed. You narrowed your eyes. Okay, maybe you were a tiny bit jealous. Ben didn’t seem to react or enjoy their interaction any more than normal. Thankfully he was being professional. But you still felt inadequate, especially with a larger belly and without your formerly tiny waist. 

 

You noticed the other two girls who had been hanging around must have been her friends, because as her and Ben wrapped up, the other two girls left with her. They passed you in the aisle, giggling and whispering. No doubt about Ben. You waited for them to leave the lecture hall completely before getting up and making your way down the aisle.

 

“Professor?” you grinned.

 

“Yes,” he looked up, awaiting a question from one of the lingering students, totally not expecting to see you. His expression turned to a slight frown when he noticed it was you.

 

“Jesus,” he whispered. “What are you doing here?” He ran his hand through his hair, looking to see if there were any remaining students around. He was clearly nervous.

 

“Ben, calm down,” you chided. “No one knows shit. I can be one of your students for all people know.”

 

He sighed. “Did you come here by yourself? You should be at home resting.”

 

“Ben, I’m pregnant. I’m not sick,” you smiled at him, trying to emit some calming and positive energy his way.

 

“I know, I know,” he said. “Sorry. You just caught me off guard is all.”

 

“I didn’t mean to. I just wanted to see you.” You stepped a bit closer.

 

“It’s really hard for me not to touch you right now,” he said. “Or kiss you.”

 

You flashed an innocent smile. “Well, professor. I do believe you have office hours in about 15 minutes.” 

 

There was a pained look in his eyes.

 

“Oh love,” he groaned. “You’re killing me right now. All of my office hours appointments are booked.”

 

You frowned. “Shit! Really?”

 

“Midterms are next week, so I have a lot of students trying to save face. I’m so sorry, love.” He reached out a hand to touch you but stopped himself, remembering he was still in a classroom.

 

You pouted again. You were horny as hell, and now you were going to have to head back home. Alone and unfulfilled.

 

He must have noticed the look in your eyes. “Unless,” … he started. You watched him as he walked to the back of the lecture hall and lock both of the side doors. He stalked back over to you quickly, his strides long and with purpose. Ben had the familiar predatory look in his eyes, and you knew what was coming.

 

“Hurry,” he whispered. “Pull down your jeans and put your palms on the desk.”

 

He didn’t need to tell you twice! You unbuttoned your jeans and slid them halfway down your thighs. You noticed his jeans were already unbuttoned and he was pulling his cock out of his boxer briefs, which was already hard. He took off his suit coat but kept his dark grey tshirt on.

 

You felt his fingers prod your entrance, which was already soaking. “Always ready,” he said softly. Shortly after, you felt his cock press against you and then push deep inside, your slickness making it slide in easily. You both moaned, trying to keep the noise to a minimum. “Oh my God, Ben,” you whispered. “You feel so good inside of me.”

 

“Yeah?” he asked. “I love when you’re taking my cock like a good girl.”

 

“I love taking your cock, professor. I would have fucked you after class everyday if I knew you would fuck me this good.”

 

He groaned and started fucking you harder from behind. “Lift up your shirt,” he commanded. “I want to see that sexy belly of yours.”

 

You did as he desired, feeling one of his hands leave your hip and run across the swell of your abdomen.

 

“You’re such a dirty girl, letting your professor fuck you and get you pregnant,” he whispered between thrusts. You felt his hand come down and slap your butt cheek, and you yelped, clearly not expecting it.

 

“Shhhhh,” he cooed. “We wouldn’t want anyone to know how much of a whore you are, love.”

 

You turned your head to the side to look at him. “I’m only  _ your _ whore, baby.” You reached down to rub your clit, knowing you were both running out of time. “Fuck me harder, Ben,” you begged. “Please.”

 

He held on to your hips with a bruising grip, thrusting harder and deeper. You knew he was also close, judging from the way he was breathing. Short bursts of loud huffs.

 

“I’m going to cum in this tight little cunt because your cunt belongs to me,” he whispered in your ear. “Do you understand?”

 

“Baby, please. Fill me up right now. I want to feel your cum inside my pussy.”

 

You climaxed shortly together, his hands roaming around your belly as he released inside of you and as your cunt pulsated around his girth. You both took a quick moment to catch your breath and you felt him pull out of you. You felt him grab your panties and jeans from around your thighs and pull them up, helping you dress. You stood up, legs like complete jelly, and buttoned your jeans. He was already tucked back into his boxer briefs and was securing his jeans. He leaned forward to kiss you. “Thank you for that, love,” he smiled against your lips. “I’m sorry it was so quick, but I promise I’ll take care of you again tonight.”

  
You secured your arms around his neck and nuzzled into his jawline. “I know you will, baby. You always do.”

 

He kissed your forehead and stepped back, shoving his hands under your shirt to touch your bump. “I love you,” he said softly.

 

“I love you,” you said back.

 

He chuckled. “I have to unlock these doors before someone tries to come in.”

 

* * *

  
  


You walked down the hallway of Ben’s building and into the courtyard, feeling relaxed beyond all belief. You smirked on the inside when you passed all the students and faculty members in the hallway. They had no idea you had a professor’s cum dripping out of your cunt and soaking your panties right now.

 

You were looking down at your phone to schedule an Uber to take you home when you felt a hand poke you on the shoulder. You turned around and your heart dropped. Tony. Your face blanched, and you backed away several steps. 

 

“Whoa,” he held his hands up, trying to prove to you that he wasn’t going to do anything.

 

“Stay away from me,” you barked. You wanted to shout for help, but what were you going to say exactly? That this man previously tried to rape you, and that a professor who works at this very university, whom you also happen to be fucking, came to your rescue?

 

His hands were still raised up. “Look, I was drunk that night I came to your apartment. I’m sorry. I just wanted to apologize. I never meant for things to get that far. It’s been tearing me up ever since. I came to apologize, but you had already moved out, and I don’t know your new address. You haven’t been answering my calls or texts. I don’t know what else I have to do.”

 

_ Pathetic. _

 

You still eyed him cautiously. Tony was obviously not one to be trusted. Anything that came out of his mouth had to be taken with a grain of salt.

 

“Are you still taking classes?” he asked. “I saw your Instagram.” He was looking at your stomach, trying to find your bump. You knew where he was getting at. You placed a hand over your belly protectively, as if trying to hide Tony’s creepiness from your baby.

 

“No,” you replied.

 

“Is it his?” he gestured to your stomach. You knew “his” meant Ben’s.

 

“That’s none of your business.” You turned and walked away, but he followed.

 

“But it is my business. You’re my friend, and I can easily tell school officials that I am worried about you. That I feel you’ve been taken advantage of by one of the faculty members here.”

 

You stopped in your tracks and turned to face him. “You wouldn’t dare!” you hissed.

 

“Well, what do you have to offer me?”

 

“What does that mean?” you asked angrily.

 

“I’ll keep your secret, but I’m not going to do it for free.”

 

_ The fucking snake!  _ “Tony, please don’t do this to me. I can’t handle this type of stress. Not in my condition.” Your eyes started to water. You felt a panic attack coming on. You didn’t want to be bribed into doing something you didn’t want to do, and you also didn’t want Ben to lose his job or you to get permanently kicked out of school.

 

“This is all in your control, sweetheart,” Tony replied. “My lips will stay sealed, but I also need something from you in return.”

 

“What kind of  _ thing _ is that?” you asked sarcastically.

 

“I haven’t decided yet, to be honest,” he said cockily. “But for starters, you can kiss me.”

 

Your mouth flew open but you didn’t make a sound. That’s how shocked you were. “You are fucking disgusting. I’m not kissing you!”

 

He sighed. “Do you really have a choice?”

 

He was right. If you said no, then all hell would break loose. “Can it be anything else?” you begged. “Anything that doesn’t involve me having to touch you?”

 

He shook his head slowly. “Nope.”

 

You took a deep breath. “Hurry then,” you whispered, eyes watering with unshed tears. 

 

Tony leaned down. You could see the victory he claimed in his eyes before he planted a gentle kiss on your lips, pushing his tongue inside your mouth. It must have lasted a few seconds, but to you it felt like an eternity. He grinned at you and ran his thumb across your lips. “I’ll get back to you when I think of something else.” And he walked away.

 

You wanted to vomit and scream, but you couldn’t do it in the middle of campus. So you stood there in complete shock, willing your tears not to fall for everyone to see. What were you going to do? You couldn’t tell Ben about this. He’d be disgusted at the fact that you just kissed a man. He might not forgive you for it. You took out your phone and finally got your Uber. You had a few hours to calm yourself before Ben got home.

 

* * *

  
  


You stood looking out your office window, waiting for your next student to show up for his office hours appointment. Your fists were flexing, joints popping, and teeth clenching as you watched the love of your life kiss another. And it wasn’t just another man. It was the man she said she didn’t want. The man who sliced your arm with a switchblade. The man who had been trying to get in her pants for who knows how long. What kind of game was she playing?

 

To your surprise, your sadness overtook your anger, and that wasn’t something you were used to. Sadness was not an emotion you liked to experience. Anger was fine. Anger was more than fine. Anything but hurt. You took a deep breath, resisting the urge to sweep everything off your desk in a blind rage.

 

Just then, you heard a knock on your door. “Professor?” your student poked his head inside. “Is now still a good time?”

 

You took a deep breath. “Mm hmm,” you managed to get out, burying the hurt and anger radiating within.


	20. Nothing Can Touch Us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben does some digging and finds a way out of a tough situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was on a roll this weekend :) Don't forget to leave me some love or a comment! I love all your kind words and it keeps me going! <3

Ben had a lot of time to think in between his student sessions during his office hours. And after a 20 minute phone call with his therapist, Karissa helped him through his unstable emotions and think more clearly. He felt renewed.

 

_ “Ben, people don’t think clearly when they’re angry or hurt. We tend to make very rash decisions when we’re feeling extreme emotions, and you especially tend to feel them very strongly and very often. You’re a rational thinker when you’re balanced, Ben. You teach philosophy for God’s sake! Take a step back from the situation, and try to analyze this from her side. You know she loves you. She’s carrying your child. What would her purpose be to carry on a relationship with the both of you? Think, Ben. Could he have been blackmailing her? He does happen to hold something major over the both of your heads, afterall. Logically, that makes more sense than her wanting to purposely hurt you.” _

 

Karissa was right. It had been years since you’ve dealt with your emotions in a healthy way. You had purposely closed yourself off from feeling a lot of things, but (Y/N) managed to break through and bring them out of you again. For the sake of your sanity and your future son, you had to accept the fact that you have a woman who chooses to be with you. Who loves you. Who is carrying your child.

 

You had to have the uncomfortable conversation with her when you got home … about what you saw. You didn’t have a choice. You didn’t want her keeping any secrets from you, and you certainly didn’t want Tony holding anything over her head and taking advantage of knowing about your student/teacher affair. You were determined to figure a way out of this, and you knew just the person who could help.

 

* * *

  
  
  


Ben was almost two hours late. You assumed he probably had an influx of even more eager students concerned about their grades or their midterm exams. When he didn’t respond to your texts asking him what he felt like for dinner, you decided to get it started on your own. He was just going to have to eat whatever you decided! You were just about to get started in the kitchen when you heard the front door open and close. Ben was home. It was now or never. You had to face the music and be honest with Ben about what happened today.

 

You walked into the living room to meet him halfway. His eyes lingered on your bare legs. You were dressed in nothing but one of Ben’s t-shirts.

 

“Hey baby,” you said softly, lacing your fingers together nervously.

 

Ben dropped his leather messenger bag on the couch and shrugged off his jacket. “Hey, love.”

 

“I was just about to start dinner, but I wanted to talk to you first.”

 

He took a seat on the couch and rested his elbows on his knees. “Sure,” he said. “Sit down and let’s talk.”

 

You walked over, wondering why he appeared so eager to talk without question. Why did you have a feeling he already knew what you were going to say? Did Ben already know?

 

He placed his palm on your upper thigh, stroking your exposed flesh with his thumb. “Talk to me, my love.” He definitely knew.

  
You put your hand on top of his. “Something happened today,” you began. Your eyes met with his to measure his expression. He didn’t seem angry. His eyes were warm. He shoulders rose as he drew a deep breath.

 

“I already know,” he interrupted, gently squeezing your thigh. “I saw you two from my window.”

 

What?? He saw you. Shit. He must have been thinking about this all afternoon. You felt your heart race and your pulse quicken. The guilt weighed on you, know he had to work all afternoon after watching you and Tony kiss.

 

“It’s not what you think, Ben,” you said quickly. “I’m sorry it happened. But it’s not what you think.”

 

“I believe you,” he said softly. “Tell me everything.” His hand on your leg was calming.

 

“Ben, he said he was going to tell the university about us. He was going to tell them you took advantage of me. Unless …” you paused.

 

“Unless what,” he pressed. You could see the anger starting to show in his eyes, his brow furrowed and you saw him clenching his jaw.

 

“Are you mad at me?” Tears fell from your eyes, and he wiped them away with his thumb.

 

“No my love,” he said. “Unless what. Go on,” he pressed.

 

“He made me kiss him,” you choked. “And then he said he’ll think of something else I can do for him in exchange for him keeping our relationship a secret.” You leaned into Ben. You felt your tears soaking into the shoulder of his shirt. “I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s okay,” he whispered as he held you. “I’m sorry too, love. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.”

 

“What are we doing to do, Ben? I don’t want you to lose your job or ruin your career.”

 

He shook his head. “It’s okay. Nothing is going to happen. I can promise you that.”

 

“How can you be so sure?” You sat up and looked at him in confusion.

 

“I am very close with someone who sits on the Committee of Student Discipline, and I had a long conversation with her after work.”

 

So that’s where he was for two hours.

 

“What did you tell her exactly?”

 

“Everything,” he said. “We’re close. She’s not going to tell anyone a thing.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“I’m 110% positive,” he said. “And we’re going to be fine.”

 

“How?”

 

“Well, it’s Tony’s word against ours, for one. Two … you are technically no longer a student since you’re currently unenrolled. So they can’t pursue a disciplinary action on someone who doesn’t go to the school.”

 

“Wow,” you said.

 

“Third,” he started.

 

“There’s a third?”

 

“There can’t be any repercussions of us publicly carrying on with our relationship from here on out, as you are no longer a student at the school. And when you do re-enroll, it will only be circumstance that you and I are dating. So they can’t take any action in that regard. You just can’t take any of my classes going forward, obviously.”

 

You felt a weight lift off your shoulders, and you managed a smile through your tears.

 

“Really? Oh Ben I’m so relieved.” You held him tightly.

 

“Yes really, my love. Everything is going to be okay. I said I was going to take care of you and I meant it.”

 

He smiled back at you, that familiar crooked smile where one end of his lip curled up.

 

“Let’s talk more about this during dinner,” you said. “But I have to make it first!” You went to stand, but he grabbed your wrist and pulled you into his lap and nuzzled into your neck.

 

“I want to start with dessert first,” he whispered, that deep baritone vibrating against your neck. You felt his hand slide into the waistband of your panties and pull them down. You instantly felt heat pooling between your legs, kicking your panties off and flinging them across the living room when they reached your ankles. 

 

“That’s my eager girl,” he said. 

 

Lifting your arms, he pulled your t-shirt over your head and pulled one of your nipples into his mouth.

 

You moaned and laced your fingers into his soft wave of curls.

 

He stopped what he was doing and looked up at you with a smirk. “I’m loving your pregnancy tits,” he said. “These are starting to get bigger … heavier. I can feel it.” He put his hand underneath one of your breasts and jiggled it, testing its weightiness. “I can even see your nipples getting a little darker.” You felt his tongue on your nipples again.

 

You were glad Ben was taking a liking to the small changes in your body. There were some days that you felt extremely self-conscious of how you looked. You had always worked hard to maintain your figure, and these changes were completely out of your control now.

 

You felt Ben’s lips move down your stomach, hands caressing the minor swell of your abdomen. “I still can’t believe it,” he whispered. “You’re carrying my son.” He placed a soft kiss on the bump. 

 

You smiled. You loved tender and caring Ben. He was going to be a good father.

 

He quickly sat up and removed his shirt and trousers. You noticed his hard cock jutting out from underneath his boxer briefs before he slid them off. He stroked himself a few times before he kneeled down on the floor in front of the couch. He placed his hands on your inner thighs and gently spread your legs. “I want to taste you before I fuck you,” he said. His eyes dark and full of lust. “I want to taste you everyday, just so you know.”

 

That was perfectly fine with you!

 

You moaned and arched your back the second you felt his warm tongue glide over your slit. You were so thankful that Ben was really good at eating pussy. And not only was he good at it, he also seemed to really enjoy it. His enthusiasm to please you was evident in the way he licked you and savored your cunt like it was the best thing since sliced bread.

 

He moved one of his hands to rest on your abdomen, while the other prodded at your entrance. You gasped as you felt him insert one finger, then two after realizing how wet you already were for him.

 

“Ben … fuck,” you started rolling your hips so your clit could meet the tip of his majestic nose. The gentle stretch of his fingers drawing in and out of you drew your orgasm even closer.

 

“Cum for me, baby,” he whispered against your pussy. “Cum in my mouth.”

 

You felt a bolt of electricity rush throughout your entire body as you came, uncontrollably shoving his head closer to your cunt as you released. “Yes, Ben .. right there. YES!” you screamed. Poor Ben was probably going to rethink his longer hair every time he ate your pussy. You had the tendency of pulling on his locks every time you came against his lips and tongue.

 

You felt your body jerk as Ben licked your sensitive cunt up and down to gather all of your spend into his mouth. “Ben, oh my God,” you sighed with relief.    
  
He kissed the inside of your thigh and rested back on his heels with a grin.

 

“Good?” he teased. You could see him stroking himself, and you felt your pussy clench again knowing that you made him so needy.

 

You rolled your eyes and smiled. “Obviously. Now come fuck me already.”

  
  



End file.
